


Blue

by turtleback



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:48:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtleback/pseuds/turtleback
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post Season 1 fic. After the shootings at police headquarters, Jane and Maura distance themselves from each other and others as they each try to recover from the events of that day. They each make decisions about changes they think they need to make in their lives until eventually they find their way back to each other. Meanwhile Jane gets assigned to working cold cases and finds a number of cases with a disturbing similarity.<br/>Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.<br/>[Previously posted at FFN]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was only early November but it was already cool, almost cold, and the trees were bare. Jane stood in jeans, a sweater, and an old brown Carhartt jacket that had belonged to her brother Tommy before he grew shoulders and before he went to prison. She wore a knit hat and could have used some gloves too, but she couldn't find them and couldn't remember where she put them last spring. She was at the Boston Police Department shooting range on Moon Island in Boston Harbor.

Jane looked at the gun in her hands. It was a brand new Glock 23, just a little smaller than her previous Glock 22, adopted by BPD for non-uniformed personnel because it could be concealed a little easier. Although Jane had not been cleared to return to duty and was still going through rehab, she had been issued a new service weapon so she could keep up her skills at the shooting range. But she was pretty sure it was breaking policy to give her a gun before reinstatement.

Jane sensed a certain amount of rule bending was going on to make sure Jane was happy. It was a lot better for BPD to focus on the hero cop rather than the dirty one that had helped take over police headquarters. But they had to make sure Jane would play her part and go along with the hero part. Jane's old gun was locked in evidence. Marino had taken it out of her desk, had threatened her with it, and it was the gun she had shot herself and Marino with. Jane still wasn't entirely sure if the detectives assigned to investigate the shootings at headquarters had intentionally ignored that fact or if the shooting was such a clusterfuck that it got overlooked.

No one had asked her how Marino had come to have possession of her service weapon. It wouldn't be good press if the hero cop was put under investigation for negligence. Jane had not forgotten though. Twice in a span of two months she had almost been killed with her own weapon. Twice she had put her weapon down and failed to properly secure it and both times she endangered herself and others. First Frankie and then Maura and Frankie.

_"Your problem is you think with your heart,"_ Hoyt had said to her. He was right. She was too trusting. Examining the events of the past few months, the only possible conclusion was that Jane was a danger to herself and others. But the BPD had put a gun back in her hands and said get better soon. Jane had the best clearance rate in the city, of course they wanted her back. So Jane would do her rehab and go to the designated psychologist and say the right things so she would be cleared for active duty.

A rational person would consider quitting and finding a job that didn't involve guns and serial killers. The thought passed through Jane's mind but everyone knew there was no chance Jane would quit. She was still going to do her job and catch the bad guys. What the fuck else was she going to do? But Jane wasn't the same person anymore. She was done caring. Caring is what got people around her hurt. Caring was dangerous.

Jane lifted the gun, feeling the strain in her abdomen. It still hurt, but Jane liked the pain. It was a reminder of her recklessness. She looked down the barrel of the gun and lined up the sights, aiming at the target fifty yards away, and pulled the trigger five times.

Jane lowered the gun. She was a little rusty but it felt good to shoot. She holstered the gun and then ran through a few training exercises involving unholstering the weapon and firing from different angles. When Jane was finished she was breathing hard, her hot breath visible in the cold air, and there was an ache in her side, the good kind of ache that came from being able to finally be active. She packed up her stuff and walked slowly to her car. Sinking into the drivers seat she considered where to go next. In the fallout from Jane getting shot and Frankie nearly dying, Jane's parents had split up. _My fault_ , Jane thought. Her mother was staying in Maura's guesthouse, which Jane considered to be a good thing. Maura could be the daughter her mother had always wanted. And Jane knew that Angela would take care of Maura.

But Jane found it hard to go visit her mother there because she didn't want to risk seeing Maura or having to explain to her mother why suddenly she and Maura weren't talking. Maura had been by her side nearly continuously in the hospital, but once Jane was released, Maura withdrew. Jane understood why. She had demanded that Maura save Frankie, something one friend should never have to do for another. They were almost killed by Marino's co-conspirators and then Maura watched Jane shoot herself and was the first person at her side as she bled onto the sidewalk.

It was better this way anyway, Jane told herself. Maura had been put in danger partly because of Jane's actions. Jane would not allow that to happen again. So while before the shooting Jane would have gone to Maura's house to check on her, now Jane left her alone. Because Maura was the only person that could possibly break down the new walls Jane had erected. As long as Maura stayed away they were both safe. And Maura making the choice to pull away made it even easier.

Jo Friday greeted her at the door and Jane took a moment to give her dog tummy rubs and then food. Jane sat down on the couch and turned on the tv. But she was too restless to relax on the couch. _Fuck it, I'm going out_ , Jane thought. She was off her pain medications and hadn't had a drink yet. And frankly she was horny. It had been way too fucking long since she'd had sex. One consequence of having nothing to distract her during her recovery was a seriously overactive sex drive.

Jane grabbed her jacket and went back out to her car. Once again she pondered where to go. Another consequence of the shooting was the Jane was no longer willing to pretend or deny to herself that she wasn't interested in women. She'd done that her entire adult life and it hadn't gotten her anywhere. Life was too short, blah, blah, blah. But mostly Jane didn't give a fuck what people thought anymore. She was attracted to men, at least enough to figure she could find a guy she liked enough to settle down with. If she had ever had any real interest in that it was gone now. _Settle down with Jane Rizzoli, what a joke._ So there was no point in pretending anymore.

Jane knew what bars and clubs to go to. She even gone as far as driving over to one a few years ago, but chickened out before going inside. Jane drove across the Charles River into Cambridge and continued to Somerville. There was a bar she knew that had a mix of customers but primarily catered to lesbians. Jane parked outside and sat down at the bar and ordered a beer. Jane wasn't unaware of her attractiveness but she wasn't very comfortable with it. Perhaps because she didn't want to acknowledge female attraction and wasn't that interested in the male attraction, Jane tried to hide or downplay her physical attributes. Not like Maura, who knew just how to accentuate all the ways in which she's gorgeous and chose to do that.

Jane looked around the bar and then focused intently on her beer in front of her. _Fuck, I'm not ready for this. What the fuck was I thinking?_ Jane's thoughts were interrupted by someone at her elbow. Jane involuntarily flinched before looking at the young woman with curly brown hair at her side.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's okay. It was my fault. I was deep in thought I guess," Jane responded.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Uh," Jane laughed nervously, "I guess I was wondering what the hell I was doing here. And now I'm wondering why I told you that."

"It's okay. I recognized you, you know, from the newspaper. You're the hero cop, right? Detective Rizzo or something?"

"Rizzoli, uh, Jane Rizzoli. And the hero thing is what the newspaper said, not me."

"I don't remember the newspaper saying anything about you being gay."

Jane looked at her. She was maybe 5'5", petite, pretty, and, Jane thought, young. When did people in their 20s start seeming young to me? "That's because I'm not. Or maybe I am, I don't know. I...I don't really know," Jane sighed.

The woman placed a napkin on the bar in front of Jane and said, "Well, if you decide, give me a call."

As the woman started to walk away Jane called after her, "Uh, wait a second. I um, god this sounds stupid, but I'm not looking for a relationship or anything serious."

"Who said I was?" she said and walked away.

Jane downed the rest of her beer and quickly left the bar. Back in her car she rested her head on her steering wheel. That could have gone worse, I guess. Jane looked down at the napkin that she was still clutching in her right hand. It said Sara Morales followed by a phone number. _Jesus, Rizzoli, a woman hit on you. Next time nut up and take her home. That's the whole point of going out._ Jane put the napkin in her glove compartment and drove home.


	2. Chapter 2

After the shootings at police headquarters Maura took a week off. She refused to have any part of conducting the autopsies of any of the victims of the shootings, and frankly due to her role in the events of that day she didn't think she should be doing the autopsies anyway. She recommended the city bring in an outside consultant to sort through who was killed when and by whom as there were lingering questions about whether any other police were working with Bobby Marino.

Instead, she spent three days with Jane in the hospital. Jane's injuries were relatively straightforward. The bullet nicked her gallbladder so the doctors removed it rather than trying to repair it. Otherwise Jane was simply stitched up and required rest and rehab. Angela and Frank spent more of their time with Frankie because his injuries were far more serious. Jane only required a lot of rest at first, leaving Maura alone with her thoughts for far too long.

Watching Jane lying still in the hospital bed, Maura couldn't help but think of her as a corpse and consider how close Jane came to being on her table in the morgue. And not for the first time. Sitting alone in the hospital room, Maura vacillated between fear and anger, but sometimes she only had an overwhelming feeling of emotional paralysis. By the time Jane was ready to be discharged Maura had made some decisions.

Jane had so easily become part of Maura's life, it happened without Maura having a chance to really analyze it. Without any real effort on Maura's part she suddenly, for the first time, had a best friend. And Jane changed her. Maura didn't feel like the Queen of the Dead with Jane. With Jane she could be silly, affectionate, open, and above all else, she could be herself and be liked just the way she was.

But now Maura saw that opening herself up to Jane was a mistake. If this situation-sitting in this hospital room with her emotions raging- was also what having a best friend felt like, Maura didn't want any part of it. Maura liked logic and provable facts, not illogical, unproveable emotions. Jane filled her brain with "what ifs" rather than scientifically deduced conclusions. Feeling like this was clearly untenable and unsustainable for Maura.

After Jane was released from the hospital, Maura left town for the rest of her week off. She turned off her cell phone and left without telling anyone where she was going. Maura drove three hours across the state to the Berkshires, found a place where she could rent a cottage and created her own private retreat. She didn't talk to anyone, and spent the day meditating, doing yoga, taking long hikes, and consuming only toast and water. She purged herself physically and emotionally.

When Maura returned home and turned on her cell phone she expected there to be at least a few messages from Jane wondering where she was, but there was nothing. Maura felt a mixture of hurt and relief. Any questions Maura had about why Jane hadn't contacted her were pushed away into the new place where Maura locked all thoughts and feelings about Jane.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was early November, almost two months since the shootings. After the first week, Maura returned to work and settled into her new routine. She had resolved to be strictly professional at work from now on. She wasn't going to be friendly with anyone anymore. She should treat all the detectives the same anyway. Her job was Chief Medical Examiner. It could compromise her professional integrity and possibly even the prosecution of cases if she was seen as too close to the Homicide detectives.

Her new demeanor largely went unnoticed at work though. Everyone was on edge or dealing with their own demons after the attack on headquarters. Lately, however, she could tell Korsak and Frost were starting to pay attention and they looked worried when she declined their offers of lunch or drinks after work. She knew it was only a matter of time before one of them asked how she doing. And when Jane came back to work people would certainly notice the change in their interactions with each other. She could only hope that no one would dare ask her about the changes.

Frankie had stayed in the hospital longer than Jane, but had been home for over a month. Maura visited him regularly to check on his rehab progress. During the time in the hospital and time spent at Frankie's, Maura witnessed firsthand the disintegration of Angela and Frank Rizzoli's marriage. Maura was more than happy to have Angela stay in her guest house. After everything that had happened with Jane and Frankie and then the divorce, Maura was glad she was able to provide Angela a place to stay. But Angela had started insisting that Maura let her cook for her. She wouldn't take no for an answer, not after everything Maura had done for Frankie and her. So the two of them had started having dinner together at least once a week, sometimes more.

But one of these days Angela was going to ask Maura what happened between her and Jane and what the heck was Maura supposed to tell her. Maura sat down at her dining table to the food Angela had prepared that evening. "Thank you, Angela. It smells delicious. You really don't have to continue cooking for me though."

"Don't be silly, Maura. I owe you so much." Angela paused and took a breath before continuing. "I just want you to know you can talk to me about anything. With everything you've done for me and my family, you're like a daughter to me and I'm here for you. Jane-"

Apparently that day had arrived. "I appreciate your concern Angela, but I really can't talk to you. Not about Jane."

"Okay. If you change your mind I'm here. I thought maybe you and Jane-"

Maura put down her fork. "Please don't. I have nothing to say about Jane," she said more sharply than she intended. "I...I'm sorry, I'm not really hungry tonight. I think I'll just go to bed." Maura got up from the table and went to her bedroom and closed the door before collapsing on her bed. She listened to the sounds of Angela putting away food and cleaning up before leaving the back door to go to the guesthouse. Then Maura curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_Jane is standing over Bobby Marino as he kneels at her feet. "Please Jane, I didn't mean to hurt anybody, this is all just a misunderstanding, please don't shoot me." Jane doesn't respond but just circles Marino until she is standing behind him. She raises the gun, pulls the trigger, and Marino slumps forward on the ground._

Jane sat up straight on the couch, breathing heavily. "It was a just a dream, just a dream," she said to herself, resting her elbows on her knees and holding her head in her hands. Jane looked around the apartment and saw that it was still only just after 8pm. She had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for the Bruins game to start. "Fuck!"

Jane had had versions of that dream since she'd left the hospital. The day before she was discharged Korsak finally told her that Bobby was dead. The bullet had traveled through Jane in an upward trajectory and pierced Bobby's heart and right lung. It had not occurred to Jane that Bobby would die, she was just trying to incapacitate him. She needed the standoff to be over so help could get help to Frankie. She realized no one was going to shoot at Bobby while she was so close to him, so Jane shot him herself.

Bobby was not the first person Jane had killed. She killed Hoyt's apprentice and some days she wished she had just fucking killed Hoyt. After what happened with Lola, Emily, whatever the fuck her name was, after Frankie had to kill her before she killed them, Jane was going to shoot Hoyt in the fucking head until she was out of bullets if she ever saw him again.

But Bobby was a cop. Jane had known him for years. She had worked with him before. He was dirty, really dirty, but that didn't mean he should be killed. As far as Jane knew, nobody even knew why Bobby had flipped.

Jane wondered what Maura thought. Did Maura understand why she did what she did. Maura wasn't judgmental, she was probably the least judgmental person Jane knew. But did she judge Jane for killing Bobby? Could Maura forgive her when Jane didn't think she could ever forgive herself? Was that what had caused Maura to disappear from her life?

She went into the bathroom and washed her face. Everyday this week had been the same. Two hours of physical therapy in the morning, meeting with the BPD psychiatrist after lunch, working out on her own after that, and falling asleep on the couch after dinner. The rehab was exhausting, but tonight the dream made Jane restless. She grabbed her coat and car keys and walked out to her car.

Sitting in her car, Jane debated her next move. Finally she punched open her glove compartment and grabbed the napkin with Sara's number. She typed out a text: "Hey its Jane from the bar last week. Are you free for a drink?"

A few minutes later Jane's phone buzzed: "Meet you at the bar in an hour."

Jane started the car and drove north towards Somerville, arriving at the bar a good 30 minutes early. She sat down at the same spot at the bar and ordered a whiskey chilled, needing something a little stronger tonight than her normal beer. She was throwing back her third when Sara entered the bar.

"Whoa, slow down tiger," Sara said when she saw the three empty shot glasses.

"I'm fine," Jane responded.

"Hmm. Wanna get out of here?" Jane nodded and followed Sara outside. "Just so we're clear, I'm taking you to my apartment, okay? I live only two blocks away, why don't you leave your car here and we can walk."

"Sure," Jane agreed. "You could have just told me to meet you at your house, you know."

"Well, I did want to get a drink. I didn't expect you to be three drinks in already when I got to the bar, or I would have just invited you over. I prefer the women I sleep with to be able to remember it the next day."

Jane's eyes went wide, "Jesus, you don't play around, huh?"

"What would the point of that be? I wanted to sleep with you as soon as I first saw you, before I even realized who you were. And I assume that's why you contacted me tonight." Sara led Jane inside an older house on one of the countless one way streets in Somerville and upstairs to her second floor apartment.

Once inside Jane had her first real chance to take a look at Sara. She took off her coat revealing a very tight, very low cut v-neck cashmere sweater and dark jeans tucked into almost knee-high boots with what seemed to Jane to be dangerously narrow and high heels. "You like what you see?"

Jane smiled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare. But yes, you look...really good."

Jane held her breath as Sara walked behind her and gently pulled off Jane's coat. "This is your first time with a woman?"

It was a question phrased as a statement. "It's that obvious?" Jane asked.

"A little. But your last opportunity to back out tonight is rapidly approaching."

"This is very unlike me. I mean, hooking up with someone I barely know is very unlike me. But, I'm happy to be here right now."

Sara took Jane's hand and led her down the hall to her bedroom. "Why now?"

"I'm tired of pretending and ignoring my...desires. I guess I have a new awareness of my own mortality."

"Why did you pretend before?"

"It was easier. Look, I've already got a police mandated shrink. And I think you know plenty about me now. I don't know anything about you."

"You don't need to know anything about me except that I'm going to blow your fucking mind." Sara directed Jane to a sitting position on the bed and then straddled Jane's lap. Clasping her hands behind Jane's neck, Sara pressed her lips against Jane's. Jane kissed her back without hesitation and then felt Sara pushing her tongue into Jane's mouth. Jane put her hands on Sara's waist and then her fingers found their way under Sara's sweater and they kissed like that for awhile.

Sara stood up and methodically removed each article of clothing until she was naked and resumed her position on Jane's lap. Jane tentatively traced her fingers over the exposed skin on Sara's chest and back.

Sara pulled Jane's top off over her head and then removed her bra. "Lie down." When Jane did, Sara noticed the scar on Jane's right side and gently traced her fingers around it. "It's so small. Are you healed?"

"Enough."

Sara finished undressing Jane and then knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed. Jane watched as Sara buried her face between her legs and for the first time Jane understood what an intensely erotic sight that could be. Jane wanted to put her hands in Sara's hair but instead grabbed onto the bedspread, twisting it in her hands as her orgasm rolled through her body.

Sara climbed on the bed and hovered over Jane. "Fuck me," Sara said before kissing Jane again. As Jane tasted herself on Sara's lips she stroked through Sara's wetness several times before tentatively pushing two fingers inside Sara. Sara rode Jane's hand and when Jane flicked her thumb over Sara's clit, Sara pushed two fingers inside of Jane too.

After they both came and Jane caught her breath she said, "Fuck, you're good at that."

"I know." Sara rose from the bed. "I'm going to go shower. You're a big girl, you know how to find your way back to your car right?"

Jane sat up in disbelief and watched Sara's naked form leave the room. Then Jane started laughing, hard enough that her side started to hurt.

As she drove home, Jane idly wondered why she had waited so long to do that and if it could really be that easy.


	4. Chapter 4

Jane sat in Lt. Cavanaugh's office drumming her fingers against her knee. She didn't have medical clearance to return to duty yet, but Cavanaugh had called Jane to ask her to come in and meet with him.

"Hey Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said as he entered his office and sat behind his desk. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good actually," Jane answered honestly.

"Good. I wanted to discuss something with you. There's been some discussion about giving you a special assignment and I wanted to run it by you. Basically the idea is you would have two roles, one would be to work on higher profile or difficult homicides. The other would be working cold cases."

"Is this some sort of punishment?" Jane asked.

"No, it's not punishment. If I were you I would think of it as more like a promotion. You wouldn't have to deal with anymore domestic dispute murders or stupid drive-bys. And you would have a chance to do some real good. I think you already know that for a long time our Homicide Department was mediocre at best. There are a lot of unsolved cases that deserve a second look."

"What's going to happen to Frost?"

"He's been working with Korsak since you've been gone and things have been going well. They can remain together."

Jane thought for a minute. "It still feels like a punishment."

"Look, Rizzoli, there's no point in hiding anything from you. There are certain people in this building would be happy to see you turn in your badge. There are people who think you are a danger to yourself and others. There are also some people who think you're out of control or have a death wish or something."

"And you?" Jane asked.

"I want you to be around for as long as possible. I'm offering you a pretty good deal. You will have total control over your work on the cold cases. And you can start as soon as you want. You don't need medical clearance to start going through old files."

Jane had been staring at the floor, but her head popped up at that. "Really?"

"Sure. I'll find you an office too."

"I'll give it a try, as long as I'm allowed to change my mind."

"Okay. You can start as soon as you want to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello Detective Korsak," Maura said as he entered her lab.

"It's Sergeant now actually. You've done a nice job renovating down here."

"Congratulations Sergeant. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Jane is upstairs with Lt. Cavanaugh talking about her return to work. He's going to make her an offer to work mostly on cold cases and occasionally help out with difficult murders."

Maura flinched slightly upon hearing Jane's name. "Oh. Well that sounds interesting."

Korsak sighed. "I don't really want to get involved in anyone's personal business but I've noticed that you haven't quite been yourself and I think I may have some experience with what you're going through. You know I care about Jane like a daughter. And you know I saved her when Hoyt had her, you know the first time. If I hadn't found her she would probably be dead. She's gotten over it now, but at first Jane hated me for that. She hated me because I saw her hurt and in her mind weak."

Maura felt the tears forming in her eyes, but they didn't fall. "I don't think she's had that problem with me. When Hoyt came after her again she came to me, she was scared."

"You realize it was you who saved Jane, Frankie, and yourself from Marino, turning on the walkie."

"That was really just luck."

"Well, it's just something to think about. There could be a lot of forensic questions in those cold case files so you should be prepared for that. I don't know what's going on with Jane now, but I'm she'll get back to normal eventually." Korsak turned to leave.

"Wait, Vince. Thank you." Maura sighed, "Do you think she'll ever stop doing stupid dangerous things?"

"Probably not. It's who she is."

"Is that why she's being put on cold cases?" Maura asked.

"What do you think?" Korsak left before Maura had a chance to answer him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane was restless. She had agreed to go into work the next morning and take a look at what the old files looked like. She was nervous about going into work again and what other people were going to think about her new assignment, which Jane knew was punishment despite what Cavanaugh said.

She took out her phone and quickly typed a message:  _"I don't know what the protocol is for this so I just want to say I had a good time so thanks."_

Her phone buzzed almost immediately:  _"You aren't upset with me are you?"_

Jane typed back:  _"Hell no. You were just what I needed"_

_"Wanna come over?"_

_"You don't have some sort of one time only rule?"_

_"I can make an exception."_

There was a pounding on Jane's door. She opened it and Angela barged in, saying "I've tried to stay out of this but I can't any longer. What did you do to Maura?"

Jane closed the door and turned around to face her mother who was looking at her with hands on her hips. "Nice to see you too. I didn't do anything. Wait, what's wrong with Maura?"

"I don't really know. But she's quiet, withdrawn. She doesn't seem to go anywhere but work."

"Then why aren't you taking care of her?" Jane yelled.

"Me? What about you?" Angela yelled back.

"You take care of people. I just hurt people."

Quieter, Angela said, "That's what I came here to find out. What did you to hurt her?"

Jane sighed. "I shot myself, Ma. I put her in danger. I put Frankie in danger. And then I shot myself and she watched me do it. I'm just trying to leave her alone to protect her. I just want to protect everyone."

"What kind of friends turn their backs on each other after something like that?" Angela was yelling again.

Jane yelled back, "Goddammit, Ma. Fucked up, emotionally retarded friends, who are in love with each other."

Angela's mouth dropped open. "You're in love with her?"

"Yes, of course I am."

"And Maura is in love with you?"

Jane clenched her jaw and ground out, "I don't know. Sometimes I thought maybe, but I don't know."

"You didn't tell her?"

"Of course not, and I'm glad I didn't. She's better off without me in her life."

"She doesn't look like she's doing better without you."

"She'll get over it eventually."

"You're going to have to see her at work. What are you going to do then?"

"I had a meeting this morning. I was offered a new assignment, working mostly cold cases. We should see each other a lot less at work."

"Oh, honey. Why do you have to make things so hard for yourself?"

"Just take care of her, okay? Even when she doesn't want you to. Just do the thing you do with me when you ignore my requests for you to stop smothering me."

Angela's jaw dropped again. "Smothering?"

Jane decided that she'd had more than enough of this conversation and made her way to her door. "I gotta go, Ma. I love you."

"Where are you going?" Angela called after her as Jane left her mother alone in her apartment.

Jane sent another text on her way to the car:  _"I'm on my way."_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Two hours later Jane lay naked in Sara's bed. Sara walked in wearing a sheet wrapped around her otherwise naked body and handed Jane a beer before joining her in bed.

"How come I'm not getting kicked out tonight?" Jane joked.

"I think you're interesting. And I'm curious about something. You were... different tonight. You came over here with such purpose, I was wondering what caused that."

"I told you I already have a shrink."

"You think you can come in here and fuck me like that and not answer a simple question?" Sara laughed.

"Fine. I guess I had an, uh, interesting day. I had a meeting about going back to work that was a little weird and then I had a stressful conversation with my overbearing mother. So I guess I just needed a some rigorous exercise."

"See, that wasn't so hard."

"Yeah, I guess not. Well, I should get going," Jane said, getting out of bed and starting to dress.

"You don't have to."

"I really do. I've agreed to go back to work starting tomorrow, so I should get home."

"Alright Jane, you know how to find me." Sara stood and gave Jane a kiss on the cheek before sauntering off toward the bathroom.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jane entered police headquarters the next morning the uniformed officer at the front desk told her Lt. Cavanaugh had instructed him to show Jane her new office. Jane followed him and was surprised when he hit the down button on the elevator. They exited the elevator and turned towards the library-like rows of shelving that contained case files and to an office in the back corner of the basement.

Jane looked at the uniformed officer, "You're shitting me, right? This is a joke?"

"No, ma'm, this is where Lt. Cavanaugh instructed me to bring you this morning."

Jane stared at him, waiting for him to give it up and admit it was a joke. When he didn't she said sighed and said, "Fine, I think I've got it from here."

Jane looked around. On one side of the room there was a brown couch that looked like it was at least fifty years old. On the other side was a metal desk with a rolling chair on one side and a basic metal chair on the other. Jane sat down in the rolling chair and opened the folder with her name on it that was sitting on the desk. Inside the folder was a spreadsheet that listed unsolved murder cases. Each line simply listed the case number and basic info like names, dates, cause of death, and locations. Jane counted out fifty pages and quickly calculated that there had to be over 1,000 cases listed.

Cavanaugh knocked on her door around 11am and found Jane pacing back and forth in the small room. "Rizzoli, how is everything?"

"Seriously? First, you told me you were giving me an office and this more closely resembles a prison cell."

"I'm sorry, but it was the only one available."

"Right. And second, do you know how many unsolved cases there actually are? There must be more than a thousand here. What the fuck were these detectives doing all these years, having a giant circle jerk everyday? I could spend an entire year just reading all of these cases. How am I supposed to figure out what might actually be solvable?"

"If this isn't what you want to do we can forget it and you can go back to your regular homicide assignment."

"No."

"No?" Cavanaugh said, feigning surprise.

"No, I can't just ignore all of these cases now. Let me at least take some time to look at some more closely. I know you're not actually surprised by that. You knew as soon as I saw how many cases there were I wouldn't leave them. Either that or you're completely full of shit and you're hoping I get frustrated and just quit. Or you're following someone else's orders and that person wants me to go insane or quit or do something stupid so they can fire me."

"Well, if you decide which one you think it is, let me know," Cavanaugh said and turned to walk away.

"I still want a better office, one that isn't in the basement," Jane called after him.

"Don't hold your breath," Cavanaugh said as he walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maura didn't see Jane but she heard her voice when Jane exited the elevator that morning and was chatting with whoever was with her. After that Maura kept an eye out but she only saw a uniformed officer get back in the elevator and later she saw Lt. Cavanaugh come and go. The more time went by, the more distracted Maura became until she realized that she done nothing more than stare through the lab windows at the hallway for fifteen minutes straight.

Maura walked out into the hallway and walked in the direction she had seen Cavanaugh go. Maura had never had reason to go into the file stacks so she wasn't sure what exactly was in the other half of the basement. She slipped off her heels and picked them up and then tiptoed down one of the aisles towards the back of the building. As she neared the back she could see a shaft of light coming from the right. Maura peeked her head around the end of the aisle and was able to partly see into what now appeared to be Jane's office.

Jane was sitting at a desk and looking through papers in a folder. Jane was resting her hand in her right hand, which was buried in her long curls. Maura watched as Jane intently read whatever was in front of her and occasionally took notes. After a few minutes, Maura turned away and silently made her way back to the lab.

Maura closed and locked the door to her office and laid down on her couch. Maura thought she had been doing okay, but not seeing Jane just meant she could ignore all of her feelings. It was going to be impossible to do that with Jane back at work. Maura had to admit to herself that she was in fact doing terribly. She had cut herself off from everybody. The only person she saw outside of work was Angela and that wasn't exactly by choice.

Jane hadn't tried to contact her in two months. Was it because she didn't want to or was it because Maura had stopped contacting her? They weren't going to be able to avoid each other for much longer. What was going to happen then? How could she even look Jane in the eyes and not relive that day two months ago?  _No,_ Maura told herself,  _I'm not going to think about it. What happened happened. It's in the past. I cannot let my feelings interfere with my life anymore. I will not feel anything anymore. We can work together because feelings will not interfere with my life anymore._

For the rest of the day Maura tried to focus on work but kept on alert for any sign of Jane. When it got to be past 6pm, Maura realized that Jane had probably used the stairway on the other side of the basement to leave so she didn't have to pass by the lab again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After an afternoon of scanning the list of murders hoping for some inspiration or magic clues, Jane went home. She saw the light on in her apartment from the street and assumed her mother was there again. But when she opened her door she found her father sitting in her living room. "Hey Pop. Where have you been?" Jane asked warily.

"Hi sweetie. I've been around, here and there, you know."

"No, I don't know," Jane said and sat down on the couch next to her father.

"Jane-"

"No, I haven't seen you in weeks. Grown ass men with a wife and a family and a business are supposed to be at home, not around."

"Jane, I'm still your father, you shouldn't talk to me like that."

Jane sighed. "What's going on Pop? Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to check on you, see how you're doing."

"I'm fine. Frankie is fine. Tommy is doing pretty well. And even Ma is doing fine. We're all doing fine."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"You really want to do this, huh?" Jane said angrily. "How do you think I'm doing? I've spent two months recovering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound and I didn't see you at all during that time. I shot myself so that my little brother, who was dying in front of me, could get help when we were being held captive by another cop. The brass doesn't seem too interested in having me be a cop anymore. My parents have lost their home and are getting a divorce on the heels of a lot of trauma that I caused. So that's how I'm doing."

Frank was silent for a minute before saying, "Janie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or even your mother. I just..."

Jane interrupted and said softly, "I know Pop. It's okay. We make decisions and they have unintended consequences. We hurt people we didn't mean to hurt."

"What happened between your mother and me is not your fault."

"I'm a little too old for that line to work. Fortunately I'm also too old to be scarred for life by my parents getting divorced."

"I knew you'd understand, Jane."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You've always been headstrong, making the decisions you want to regardless of how others felt."

Jane laughed bitterly. "That's not exactly a compliment."

"It wasn't supposed to be. It's just reality. No, I should get going. It was good to see you, Jane." Frank got up and kissed Jane on the cheek before heading to the door.

"You too, Pop."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After taking Jo out for a quick walk, Jane sat on the couch for awhile thinking about the conversation they'd just had and then decided to go out and get some food. Jane grabbed her brother's old jacket and her knit hat. The days were still reasonably mild but after dark it was getting fricking cold. Jane stuffed her hands in the pockets of the jacket and wandered aimlessly from her Back Bay apartment into the South End.

After walking around until she was too cold to stay outside anymore, Jane stepped into a pub, sat down at a table in the corner where she could still see the television showing the Bruins game, and ordered a hamburger and a beer. Jane was deep in thought so she was startled when someone was suddenly speaking to her.

"Hi, am I interrupting you? It looked like you were finished eating."

"Uh, no. I guess I was just spacing out." Jane gestured to the chair in front of her and the woman sat down.

"My name is Erin."

"Jane."

"I hope this isn't weird, but I think I saw you at the bar in Somerville a week or two ago. You left before I had a chance to say anything to you.''

Jane smiled self-consciously, "Oh, right. Yeah, that was probably me."

"If you're finished here, I live just around the corner if you want to go somewhere a little more private."

Jane considered briefly. She never went anywhere with guys with who tried to pick her up, and now she was considering going home with a woman she didn't know for the second time in the past week. Erin was definitely attractive though: medium height, long wavy brown hair, light brown eyes, probably in her early 30s. "Sure, let's go."

Erin led the way to her apartment. "So, Erin, what do you do?" Jane asked during their walk.

"Graphic design, I work for a marketing firm? You?"

"I'm a cop, actually homicide detective."

"Really? How noble."

"I don't know about that," Jane muttered.

They'd reached Erin's apartment and as she unlocked the door, she said, "Well, how about sexy then?

"I don't know about that either."

Erin hung up Jane's coat and directed her to sit on the couch. "Give me a break? You must know how fucking hot you are?" Jane could only blush and make a disbelieving face in return. "Well you are. All I've wanted to do since I first saw you is get you here and make out with you. Do you want something to drink?"

Jane cleared her throat. "No thank you. I'm good."

"Good," Erin said before straddling Jane on the couch. They kissed for awhile and after shirts had been removed, Erin suggested a move to the bedroom. They finished undressing each other on the way and after awhile were both collapsed on the bed panting heavily.

"God, Jane, your fingers, Jesus Christ."

Jane grinned smugly, "Yeah, well your tongue is, damn." After a few minutes of silence Jane said, "I, um, my dog is probably desperate for a walk."

Erin let out a short laugh. "Do I at least get to have your number?"

"You have something to write with?" Jane wrote down her number, put on her discarded clothing and made her way home.


	6. Chapter 6

Jane very consciously designed her schedule to limit the probability that she would run into Maura. She had finally received medical clearance to return to full duty, but at the this point Jane was highly skeptical that she was going to be getting any calls to go to a crime scene. And no one seemed to really care that much how her work was going. So, she started coming in a little later than she used to and using the back stairway rather than the elevator to get to her office. Which meant that she'd been back at work for over a week and had not yet run into Maura.

Actually Jane wasn't seeing much of anyone. During her recovery Korsak and Frost came by occasionally, usually together, and they'd talk about the latest cases and other police gossip. They each came down to the basement to welcome her back during her second day there, although they each seemed unsure how to deal with Jane's changed role. Korsak said something nonsensical about it being time for Jane to forgive Maura, but he wouldn't explain what he meant so Jane had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. Since then Jane hadn't really seen anyone other than the guard at the front door.

At first Jane was pissed at the entire situation. She was dumped in the basement. Her supposed job seemed completely fucking impossible. And she couldn't help but feel disrespected. But after a few days, Jane had come up with a plan for tackling the unsolved cases and was determined to accomplish something. She wanted justice for the people who had been murdered but she also wanted to prove to herself and others that she was great at her job.

Jane had to narrow the unsolved cases down to more workable number so after spending a few days thinking about it she came up with a plan. First she decided she wouldn't look at any cases since 1995. By then the use of advanced forensics techniques such as DNA and national law enforcement databases was fairly common. So the probability of finding something new on the forensics side was smaller. Plus, the detectives that worked on those cases could still be around and Jane didn't want get into those battles. Second, Jane decided to start with cases since 1980. This was arbitrary but Jane needed to make a cut somewhere. This left her with just under 500 cases.

Jane then began reading, starting with just the brief case summary and sometimes the autopsy report. There were a large number of cases that had some forensic evidence that could now be run through their newer and more sophisticated systems. Even something as simple as a fingerprint could now be run through national databases that weren't previously available. Jane put these cases in one pile with plans to figure out how to get forensics to look at them. She also set aside any cases that looked like they could have some mafia or Irish mob connection. She was not going to get involved in that clusterfuck. In the third pile were cases she was going to read more thoroughly and work on.

But for now she was still in the sorting phase. On a good day she could go through about 25 files, but Jane found herself staying later and later at work to read more, routinely becoming so engrossed that she completely lost track of time. She actually asked Frankie to take Jo Friday for awhile so she could stop worrying that she was neglecting her dog. Frankie was more than happy to take her. He was still rehabbing and hadn't been cleared to return to duty yet, so he had lots of time on his hands. Jane, meanwhile, had limited herself to working, eating, and sleeping. She'd had several calls from Erin and a text from Sara, all of which she ignored. When she wasn't reading the case files, she was thinking about them.

One day in the middle of this sorting process Jane entered her office and found a fresh coffee sitting on it. Steam was still coming out of the small hole on top. Jane couldn't help but smile. She knew immediately it was from Maura. The label on the cup had the name of the overpriced, organic, fair trade, made by elves or something, coffee place that only Maura would go to. Jane would have been happy with just Dunkin' Donuts, but when she took a sip she had to admit it was very good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maura was sure that Jane was avoiding her but she discovered she could hear Jane come and go from the basement because Jane always let the metal door between the stairway and the basement slam shut. So Maura found herself listening for the sound of the door, looking for any clue for what or how Jane was doing, and soon had a pretty good idea of Jane's normal schedule. Then one morning while she was buying her morning coffee, without really thinking about it, Maura ordered two and left one on Jane's desk. She did the same the next morning and, finding the first cup still on Jane's desk but empty, she continued every morning thereafter.

The day before Thanksgiving Maura came in earlier than usual because she planned on leaving early to catch a train to New York City to visit her father. She went to Jane's office to leave coffee and then she wasn't quite sure what happened but suddenly Jane was yelling and Maura had dropped the coffee on the floor.

"What the hell?" Jane jumped off the couch, spilling papers on the floor.

"Shoot!" Maura said, squatting to pick up the coffee before it all spilled.

"Jesus, Maura, I'm sorry, you startled me." Jane bent down to pick up her papers.

"Were you asleep? Did you sleep here last night?" Maura asked.

Jane looked around a little confused. "Uh, yeah. I guess I fell asleep reading this file."

"Oh. I'm sorry I woke you up. I should get to work." Maura turned towards the door.

"Maur?"

Maura looked back at Jane. "Yes?"

"Um...thanks...for the coffee."

Maura smiled tightly and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane tried to work the rest of the day but she was restless and distracted. She had survived an encounter with Maura but it was definitely strained. Jane replayed the events of the morning looking for clues about Maura's state of mind but didn't come up with any answers.

Finally Jane gave up working for the day. She took out her phone and called Erin and was actually a little surprised that Erin answered her call. But when Erin answered, Jane dove right in, "Hi, it's Jane. I'm sorry I didn't call you back earlier, I've been really busy at work. But I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink or something tonight?"

"Don't you mean do I want to have a quick fuck?" Erin replied lightly.

"Hey, come on, we had a good time, right? And you were the one who picked me up at the bar."

"True," Erin conceded.

"How about I bring dinner over?

"Okay. Come over around 7."

Jane went home, took a nap, showered, and then picked up Chinese food before going to Erin's apartment.

"I actually didn't expect to hear from you again," Erin said after letting Jane into her apartment.

"I've pretty much done nothing but work since I last saw you, honestly."

They ate and talked a little about what Jane had been working on, and eventually they ended up naked in the bedroom again. Erin pulled Jane down on top of her but Jane got up and said, "Turn over." Erin rolled over on her stomach. Kneeling over one of Erin's legs, Jane dragged her fingers up and down the inside of Erin's thighs until Erin was squirming.

"Jesus, stop teasing me," Erin said as she lifted her hips off the bed.

Jane obliged, pushing two fingers inside Erin from behind. Jane fucked her roughly, leaning over and alternately kissing and biting Erin's back. After Erin came Jane rolled over onto the bed on her back. Erin climbed on top of her and kissed her until Jane gently put her hands on Erin's shoulders and pushed down. Jane closed her eyes and enjoyed Erin's tongue on her. After Jane came, Erin laid back down next to her on the bed. Jane turned on her side and wrapped an arm around Erin's waist.

"I suppose you have to go feed the dog or whatever."

"No, I've been working so much my brother has her for awhile. I don't have anywhere to go."

"Oh. Okay." They fell asleep and in the morning Erin woke up to the sound of Jane getting dressed. "Where are you going? Want to have breakfast?" she asked sleepily.

"I should get to work," Jane answered.

"Work? Today is Thanksgiving."

"It is? Huh. Well I'm going to work anyway. Give me a call sometime okay?" Jane said and then left.


	7. Chapter 7

Early Thursday afternoon, Jane sat in her office reading through the case files. Most of the headquarters building was deserted. Most of the detectives were at home or wherever they went for Thanksgiving and simply on call if anything came up. Any officers that actually had to work today were out on patrol.

Jane's phone rang and she answered, "Hi, Ma."

"Jane where are you?"

"At work."

"Work?" Angela yelled. "It's Thanksgiving. Frankie and I are waiting for you."

"I, uh, I'm really involved in something and-"

"Maura's not here," Angela interrupted.

"She's not? Where is she?" Jane asked.

"Her father had business in New York City, so she's visiting him there for the holiday."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Okay, I'll be there soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maura arrived in New York City on Wednesday evening and checked into her hotel. Her father was busy so she ate alone and went to bed early. They spent Thanksgiving together. After breakfast they walked through Central Park and then watched some of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, something they had done a few times when Maura was little. And they had a simple Thanksgiving dinner together at the hotel.

On Friday her father had more meetings during the day and it was unseasonably warm so Maura spent the day wandering around Manhattan. They often spent holidays here when Maura was growing up and Maura revisited many of the spots she remembered going to and hadn't seen in years. Seeing the places that had been pleasant memories for her made Maura long not for more time with her mother and father, but for Boston and her new family, and of course for Jane.

Friday evening Maura and her father met at Per Se for dinner. In the middle of dinner her father said, "Darling, you know I don't like to pry, but you seemed preoccupied all of yesterday and you are awfully quiet tonight. Do you want to talk about what's been bothering you?"

"I think I made a mistake...about someone... and I'm not sure how to fix it."

"Well, that was sufficiently vague."

"I'm not sure how to explain it and I'm afraid you'll think I'm ridiculous if I try."

"Maura, if you want to talk about it I'm willing to listen but why don't I say a few things first. I am so proud of you and what you have achieved. And beyond that, I'm proud that you decided to use your skills and abilities to help people, for something larger than yourself. But I never had any doubt that you would have success in your professional life. I have always hoped that you would have an equal amount of success in your personal life, but I'm afraid your mother and I failed you in some way there. Perhaps we should have encouraged your emotional development with the same enthusiasm we had for your intellectual development. When there was conflict or things got difficult with friends you tended to retreat. We shouldn't have let you do that. Maura, you are an extraordinary person. If you've found someone who is worthy of you and who understands you, don't throw it away just because it became difficult."

Maura's eyes were bright with tears and she said softly, "What if I already ruined it?"

"It's never too late to fix it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane arrived at Maura's house about an hour later after going home first to take a shower. It was the first time she'd been inside Maura's house in almost three months. Walking inside she was immediately hit with Maura's familiar smell and was tempted to turn around and walk right back out of the house.

But Jane didn't get a chance to leave because Angela was right there saying, "Finally, Jane."

"Hi, Ma." Jane gave Angela a kiss on the cheek and then found Frankie on the couch and sat down next to him. "Hi Frankie, how are you feeling? You look good."

"I'm doing good. I'm going to be ready to go back to work in a few weeks."

"That's great, Frankie." Jo Friday came padding into the room then and jumped up on the couch, tail wagging, and promptly rolled over on her back. "Hey, there's my girl," Jane said and rubbed Jo's tummy. "Are you having a good time with Uncle Frankie?"

"We're good. I'm happy to keep her until I'm ready to go back to work. It's nice to have her around when I've got nothing else to do."

"Good. I think I was neglecting her. I'm glad you can take care of her a little longer." Jane lowered her voice and said, "How do you think Ma is doing with, you know, the separation?"

"I don't know. It's hard to say if she's any different than she was before. As long as she has people to fuss over she's okay I think. It's probably good for her to be away from Pop for awhile. I'm not sure if you could say she was really happy before."

"Jane, Frankie," Angela called, "Come sit down, dinner is ready."

Jane and Frankie took their seats on opposite sides of the table with Angela at the head. "This looks amazing, Ma," Frankie said.

"Thank you, honey. Will you carve the turkey?" As Frankie cut slices of turkey and distributed them, Angela continued, "And we all need to remember to thank Maura for letting us use her house while she's away. Have you seen Maura recently, Jane?"

"Please don't start, Ma."

"It's a simple question-" Angela started but Jane interrupted.

"Don't play innocent. You damn well know what you are trying to ask."

"Jane! Watch your mouth, it's Thanksgiving."

"Excuse me, can I ask what the heck you two are talking about?" Frankie interrupted.

"So, this is Thanksgiving now, huh? The three of us bickering at each other?" Jane said.

Angela sighed. "It doesn't have to be like this. Next year I hope Maura will be here. Tommy will hopefully be here. Who knows, maybe even your father will be with us."

"That's a nice thought, Ma, but I think the only way that's going to happen is if you have Thanksgiving without me."

"Jane!" Frankie and Angela both yelled at the same time.

"It's okay. I know everything is my fault. Maura's not here because of me. Pop isn't here because of me. Hell, even Tommy is probably still locked up because of me."

"Jane, would you cut it out!" Frankie growled.

Jane stood up from the table. "I'm sorry. I-"

"Sit down, Jane!" Angela yelled, and then once Jane had sat more softly said, "You may have succeeded in driving Maura away and I know you are trying hard at driving everyone else away, but it is not going to work with us. You are going to sit and eat Thanksgiving dinner with us and you are going to be thankful for all the good things in your life you haven't managed to lose yet. It may not be what we are used to, but the three of us still have each other and we sure as hell are going to appreciate it today."

All three ate in silence. Frankie was somewhat bewildered at the events of the afternoon and kept glancing back and forth and Jane and Angela waiting for them to explain. As they finished eating, Jane said, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I am truly thankful that we are together today. There's been a lot going on with me the past few weeks and I am probably not dealing with it as well as I should be. If neither of you mind, I think I will clean up the dishes and then head home to try to get some sleep."

Angela cleared her throat and said, "If that's what you want, that's fine, Janie. But remember what I said and think about what you want Thanksgiving to be like next year. Come on Frankie, let's go talk in the guest house."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane cleaned up and drove home but instead of going upstairs to her apartment she walked around her neighborhood until she found a bar that was open. She went to the bar and ordered a Jameson with a MGD64 back, downed the shot and the beer and then ordered another round. This time she sipped the beer slowly.

As she neared the end of her third beer a woman sat down on the stool next to her and said, "Are you Irish?"

"No, I'm Italian," Jane answered and finished her beer.

"Drinking boilermakers alone on Thanksgiving. I haven't seen such melancholy since my Irish grandfather died."

Jane looked fully at the woman next to her for the first time and said, "That's the most original pickup line I've ever heard."

"Why do you think it was a pickup line?"

"Do you want to go somewhere more private?" Jane asked.

"Sure."

"See, it was a pickup line. My apartment is a few blocks away."

"Okay."

They walked to Jane's apartment mostly in silence, hunched against the chill that had settled in the air once the sun went down. Once inside, Jane went to the kitchen, opened two beers and handed one to her guest, who had followed her into the kitchen. They clinked bottles and Jane took a long drink before pressing herself against the woman leaning against her counter. Jane kissed her and when the woman kissed her back, Jane pressed against her harder, pressing a thigh between her legs. Jane slipped her hand under the woman's shirt and palmed a bra-clad breast, squeezing roughly.

The woman turned her head away from Jane's lips and with her hands pushed Jane back. "Hey, slow down, what are you doing?"

"Oh for christ's sake, isn't this what you came here for?"

"I don't know."

Jane walked to the other side of the kitchen and over her shoulder said. "Well, I know that during the time I could spend fucking you, I can forget that I'm drinking alone on Thanksgiving as you so helpfully pointed out. If that wasn't your intention too you should probably get the hell out."

"Jesus Christ. Yes, I think I will leave now."

Jane heard the sound of her door closing. She finished the rest of her beer, lay down on her couch, and fell asleep.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Monday morning Maura walked into Jane's office and found her sleeping on the couch again. As Maura turned to leave, Jane cracked an eye open and said, "You don't have to go, I'm awake. I could hear those heels from a mile away."

"That's not really possible. Perhaps if you were an owl." Maura moved to perch on the edge of Jane's desk. She crossed her legs and watched Jane sit up and stretch. Jane's pants and sweater were wrinkled. Her hair was loose and disheveled. Maura couldn't help but notice that Jane looked even thinner than usual and her face looked pale. "You look terrible. Did you sleep here again?"

"Yeah, I had to get out of the house yesterday. I came here last night to read more files and decided to sleep here."

"You smell terrible too. Are you drunk?"

Jane considered that question and said, "Possibly. I did drink quite a bit over the weekend. Was there something you wanted?"

"I want to talk to you about something, but maybe now isn't the best time. I should go."

"No, don't go. Now is fine. I'm perfectly capable of having a conversation."

"Well, I wanted, I mean, I need to ask you something. This is the first real conversation we've had in almost three months. I want to know why. Why did you stop talking to me?" Maura asked, holding her gaze on Jane's face.

Jane looked away and said, "I could ask you the same thing, you know."

"I believe the customary response is something like too bad, I asked first."

Jane looked at her hands and rubbed over the scars. "Do you know why I'm down here?" she asked.

"Not really."

"Cavanaugh tried to tell me it was like a promotion which is clearly complete fucking nonsense. I think it's because the brass doesn't trust me anymore. They can't fire me right now because the newspapers wrote stories about me being a hero and firing me would be bad press, so I think they're trying to make it so unpleasant for me here that I'll quit."

"What does all of that have to do with me?" Maura asked.

"Maybe they're right. I've been in too many life threatening situations on the job and in all of them I can share some of the blame for putting myself there. You could have been hurt or killed and it would have been my fault. I brought Marino down to the lab, to you, for selfish reasons because Frankie was hurt. I can't stand the thought of something happening to you because of me. I didn't want to put you in that position again."

Maura was indignant. "Don't I get some say in that? That it isn't your decision to make."

"I killed Marino," Jane said softly.

"Because he was threatening you and everyone else with a gun. If you hadn't done it, someone else would have. You can't feel badly about that."

"Then how come you went away? Why did you stop talking to me?" Jane asked.

"Because I was afraid." Maura answered.

"See, that's what I mean."

"No, you don't understand. I wasn't afraid for my physical safety. I was, I still am, afraid for my emotional safety. I've never been as close to anyone as I was to you. I've never had the emotional connection I have with you with anyone else. When you were in the hospital I could deal with it on a strictly clinical level. But when it was clear that you were going to be okay and I had time to think about it, it was just too much. I couldn't handle thinking about losing you so I ran away and I decided that I couldn't risk putting myself through that again."

"That's no different than what I'm saying. I don't-"

"But I think I made a mistake," Maura interrupted. "I don't know if I can forget what happened or forget the past three months. I don't know how to not be afraid or how to go back to the way things were, but I would like to try."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know. Perhaps we can start with having lunch together sometime? Maybe you can use the main elevators or stairway instead of avoiding me and using the back stairs? We can perhaps start over."

Jane couldn't hide the surprised look on her face when Maura said that. "Start over?"

Maura gently hopped down from her seat on the desk and smoothed out her skirt. "I don't know if I'm the same person I was three months ago. I know I'm not the same person I was three years ago. Perhaps we'll find we don't even want to be friends anymore."

"Yeah, okay, I get it. We can give it a try," Jane said.

Maura nodded slightly and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane decided that Thanksgiving had been just a big unwelcome distraction from work. She refocused on getting through the first reading of the case files. Two weeks of not going out and no drinking and she finished the first read through of the case files. When she finished the first cut, Jane ended up with a fourth pile of eleven cases spread over sixteen years, 1977-1993. The cases had enough disturbing similarities that Jane considered that they could be the work of one killer. When Jane had found eight in the post 1980 cases, she scanned through the older cases backwards and found three more. She didn't see any before 1977, although she stopped looking in 1974 and could have missed some.

She wanted another opinion, another set of eyes to read the files and tell her if she was actually seeing what she thought she was seeing. Jane's first choice was Maura. She needed someone to look at the forensics reports anyway. Maura was still dropping off coffee each morning before Jane arrived. And one morning Jane found a new wool blanket folded and sitting on the couch in her office. They'd had lunch twice since their talk. Both times Maura had picked up food and they ate together in her office. The first time Jane's jaw almost hit the floor when she saw the redecoration Maura had done.

The lunches had been a little uncomfortable. They chatted about work, with Maura mostly talking about the recent cases she had worked on. Jane had little she was willing to talk about aside from work. She certainly didn't want to tell Maura what she had been up to when she wasn't working, even though Maura gently probed.

Jane had wandered over to Maura's office with copies of the eleven files on Thursday afternoon. Maura was out on a call so Jane left the stack on Maura's desk with a note that read: "Will you look at these files for me? I don't want to tell you why because I don't want to influence your thoughts. Thanks, Jane."

The following Monday morning, Maura knocked on Jane's office door and said. "I read all of the reports."

"And?" Jane asked eagerly.

Maura eyed the couch but decided to sit in one of the chairs. "First of all, I know we have access to better forensics techniques now then when some of these cases occurred, but some of what was done here was just sloppy."

"Okay."

"Nothing stands out in terms of physical attributes to link the victims other than the fact that they are all female. The "H" mark found on each of the victims is certainly significant, although it was in different places on the bodies and created differently, raising the possibility of copycats. I don't know if you've looked for press coverage of the murders. All of the victims were shot and the autopsies concluded that the gunshot was the cause of death. A bullet or casing was not found in all cases, but in cases where one or both was found the bullet used was a 38 special. No ballistics tests were done. In other words, there was no attempt to match the bullets found to a specific gun. However, I was able to compare the bullets to an FBI database that can tell us what type of gun was likely used and in the seven cases with bullets the database matched with the Walther PPK. The last two pieces of evidence are troubling. As you probably know, that type of bullet and gun were very common among law enforcement officials in the 70s and 80s."

Jane only nodded and Maura continued.

"No other forensic evidence was found at any of the scenes, so either the killers were very careful or the detectives were very sloppy. The autopsies were performed by a few different pathologists. I think that covers my areas of expertise."

Jane felt a surge of adrenaline and stood up and started pacing. For the first time in nearly four months she was really working again. "I agree some of details are extremely troubling. Nowhere in any of the files is it mentioned that the "H" marking was found in other cases. I don't see how it's possible that no one made that connection. There's something very wrong here."

"What are you going to do?" Maura asked.

"I don't know. For now, can you not tell anyone else about this? I need to do some more digging."

"Sure. I'm also supposed to tell you that your mother would like you to visit her. She says you haven't been returning her calls."

"Yeah, sure, I will sometime this week."

Maura stood. "I should get back to the lab. You're looking better Jane. It's nice to see," she added before leaving.


	9. Chapter 9

Maura felt as though a great weight had been lifted. But it was still only a start. She and Jane were talking, sort of. And Maura had survived it. Cutting herself off emotionally from everyone was harder than she thought it would be. She'd done it before, before Jane. But it turns out that people need emotional nourishment just as much as physical nourishment. Perhaps if Maura had religious or a spiritual beliefs to turn to for sustenance she wouldn't have felt the loss of Jane so acutely.

Maura wanted to protect herself from ever going through this experience with anyone else again. Except for Jane. She wanted Jane back. And just as Jane had pushed her way into Maura's life the first time around without Maura even fully realizing that it was happening or that she wanted it to happen, even needed it to happen, Maura would do the same now to Jane because they both needed it.

There was an awkwardness between them but Maura thought that was to be expected. She was, frankly, asking a lot of Jane. To rebuild what they had in the shadow of the shooting and the months of silence afterward was understandably going to be difficult. But Jane was different, too. She was quieter, more reserved. And there was something else that Maura couldn't quite define. Jane had always been less than fastidious about her personal care and appearance. But now Jane looked ragged, and she had slept in her office who knows how many nights recently. Maura thought the raggedness went deeper and she wanted to do something about that, although she had idea how.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maura leaned in the doorway of Jane's office and watched Jane hunched over the papers on her desk for a moment before saying, "Have you made any progress?"

Jane looked up startled. "Oh, hey." She ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "Um, it looks bad Maura. I can't see a single thing that connects these women, but then the casework was so limited there's hardly any detail. The detectives talked to friends and family to track the last movements of the victims and look for any obvious leads, but when they didn't get anywhere with that info, it looks like they stopped looking."

"Was there any press on the murders?" Maura asked.

"For several of them I found a blurb about the initial discovery of the body, usually with a request for anyone knowing anything to contact the police. But nothing else. No one in the press ever connected the murders. And there's no mention in the press of the "H" marking."

Despite the lack of invitation Maura came into the office and sat down across from Jane. "Does it make sense for that detail to be withheld?"

"It could. You don't want to encourage copycats and it is always good to have some detail that only the real killer could know. But after a string of unsolved cases you may want to release a new detail to encourage people with info to come forward. But these cases were never formally linked anyway. The fact that the "H" never got into the press also means that no one, no police and no one in the medical examiners or forensics offices, leaked anything on these cases either."

"Are you suggesting there was some sort of cover-up?" Maura asked.

"It would have to span decades and involve multiple departments within the police department. That seems impossible. And what were they covering up? And for who?"

"Whom." Maura corrected.

Jane rolled her eyes and then said seriously, "You haven't said anything about this to anyone else, right?"

"Of course not."

"Good. No one else can know anything about this until we know more. At best we're dealing with extreme incompetence. I don't even know what the worst could be. Where the copies of the files I gave you?"

"At my house."

"Good. Keep them there and put them away somewhere so they aren't just sitting out."

"How are you going to investigate without anyone else knowing what you're doing?"

"I have no idea. I'm not even sure where to start," Jane said and went back to shuffling through the papers on her desk.

Maura stood up to leave, "Korsak and Frost ask me how you're doing, you know. Perhaps we could all get a drink after work sometime?"

Jane had re-focused her attention on the files in front of her and was only partly listening, "Um, yeah, okay, if you want to."

"Is tonight okay?" Maura asked happily.

"Yeah sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Maura came to collect Jane at 5pm to head to the Dirty Robber, Jane appeared genuinely surprised about it despite their conversation and Maura's text to Jane to confirm the time. But Jane let herself be led to the bar and to their old regular booth. Jane got a few greetings and slaps on the back on the way to the booth before sitting down next to Maura and across from Korsak and Frost.

They sat and talked, although Jane was largely silent as they talked about recent cases and other happenings in homicide. After awhile, Jane offered to go get another round and went up to the bar to place the order. When Maura realized Jane had been gone longer than necessary she scanned the bar area until she found Jane chatting with another woman. Except they weren't chatting, Maura realized, they were flirting. The other woman touched Jane's elbow and leaned in and said something and Jane smiled and said something in response. Then the other woman took out her phone and it looked like Jane recited her phone number.

Maura looked away feeling embarrassed, like she had seen something she shouldn't have. But that was ridiculous, they were in the middle of a crowded bar. When she looked back up Jane was walking towards the booth with a tray of drinks.

"Took you long enough, did you get lost?" Korsak joked when Jane sat down.

"Yeah, you know it's been awhile since I've been here," Jane joked back.

After their second round of drinks, Korsak and Frost got up to leave. Jane and Maura did the same, but Maura asked Jane if she would walk with her back to her car. Despite the freezing temperature that had settled into Boston that week, Maura intentionally walked slowly to create some distance between them and the guys.

"Who were you talking to at the bar?" Maura asked as innocently as possible.

"No one. Just making conversation."

"It looked like a little more than that," Maura said before she could stop herself.

Jane felt herself blush and hoped it was dark enough that Maura wouldn't notice. "Are you spying on me or something?"

"No, I..." Now it was Maura's turn to blush. Now it seemed silly to have asked Jane about it and she didn't know what else to say so she didn't say anything at all, and Jane was silent for the rest of their walk to Maura's car as well.

When they got to Maura's car Jane said, "Well, goodnight."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Maura said, "your mother is hosting a Christmas Eve party at my house. I just wanted to warn you because she obviously expects you to be there. And you are certainly welcome to invite anyone you'd like to invite."

"Ah, jeez, you are entirely too accommodating of my mother. Okay, thanks for the warning. Goodnight then."


	10. Chapter 10

Jane resolved to behave herself and maintain a positive attitude at the Christmas party. She was not going to repeat the Thanksgiving disaster. But she had to admit she was feeling pretty good anyway. Work seemed to have more purpose and being able to talk to Maura again was definitely a positive thing.

When Jane entered Maura's house on Christmas Eve she thought she had somehow been transported to the home she grew up in. There were familiar decorations hanging all around the house and even a decorated tree taking up a considerable amount of space in the living room. Milling about the kitchen and living room were some aunts, uncles, and cousins and some of her mother's friends from the old neighborhood. Jane had invited Korsak and Frost but they both had other plans already. Frankie was with a few of his friends. Jane didn't know if Maura had invited anyone.

Then Jane spotted Maura walking towards her and burst out laughing. Maura was wearing a red wool sweater with a woven green christmas tree on the front. Jane knew that the sweater had to be from Angela and that Maura was being nice to Angela and wearing it, but it was still hilarious to see Maura wearing it.

Maura reached Jane and gently circled one of Jane's wrists with her fingers. "I don't remember the last time I heard you laugh like that. It's so nice to hear. But don't laugh too hard, your mother has one for you too."

"Maura, you're too nice to her."

"I know you think I've done a lot for her, but the truth is she's done a lot for me too. She's really tried to take care of me recently. I've never felt so mothered before."

"Good, I'm glad."

They were interrupted by Angela yelling, "Jane! Jane! Come here, I have to give you something."

Jane raised her eyebrows at Maura and then went to her mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, Ma. Merry Christmas. This place looks great. It feels like home."

"Oh, Jane. That's so sweet. I knew you still had it in you."

"I what? Actually, nevermind. Maura says you've been taking care of her so thank you."

"You're welcome. Now put this on," Angela said and handed Jane a blue sweater with a snowman on it."

"Seriously?"

"Remember when you were little and Frosty the Snowman was your favorite Christmas movie? I thought you would love this."

Jane remember her resolution and relented, "You're right. I do love it." Jane took off the sweater she was wearing and put the snowman one on instead. "It's great. Thanks, Ma."

Jane grabbed a beer and made her way around the room and talked briefly with the other guests until she reached Maura again and said, "Everyone here is either family or a friend of my mother. Did you invite anyone?"

"No, I didn't."

"Are either of your parents going to be here for the holidays?" Jane asked.

"No, they're in Europe."

"You didn't want to join them?"

"No, I'd rather be here. Have you made any progress on the murders?"

"Let's not talk about that now. It's been such a nice evening, I don't want to spoil it."

They were interrupted by Angela again. This time she had her camera in her hands. "Jane, I want to get a picture of you and Maura. Stand over there, and don't make that face," Angela said pointing where she wanted them to stand. Angela counted to three and took the picture. "Oops, look what you're standing under."

Jane looked up at the mistletoe hanging above them. "Jesus Christ, Ma!"

"Jane, don't be silly, it's just mistletoe," Maura said as she stood on her tiptoes with a hand on Jane's shoulder for balance and gave Jane a kiss on the cheek.

Jane glared at her mother as Angela snapped another picture and mouthed 'you're welcome' at Jane. Jane just shook her head in disbelief.

Jane finished off her beer and grabbed another one. She found Frankie and joined him and his friends for awhile but only half paid attention to the conversation. Jane realized that it felt good to be around friends and family. She felt relaxed, peaceful. Perhaps cutting herself off was a mistake. If it hadn't been for Maura, though, Jane probably would have ignored her mother's insistence that she be here tonight. Instead she'd be somewhere feeling sorry for herself and getting drunk or hooking up with some woman she had no real interest in. Or just drinking alone in her apartment.

Maura looked so beautiful tonight Jane thought, even in that ridiculous sweater, and she looked like she was also feeling relaxed and Jane was happy about that. Jane noticed Maura slip outside to the patio that connected her house to the guest house. When she didn't return after a few minutes Jane followed and found Maura on the patio looking up at the clear sky, arms wrapped around herself for warmth. "Hey, are you okay? Aren't you cold? It's below freezing tonight."

"Humans have an amazing ability to withstand extreme temperatures. Think about how amazing it is that we can live in temperatures that are both below freezing and regularly above 100 degrees. But do you know what I'm truly fascinated by?"

Jane leaned against the patio railing next to Maura. "No, I definitely don't."

"We have no real sense memory for temperature. When it's really cold like it is now, I cannot even imagine how it would feel to be in 90-degree humid weather. Our bodies can't recall how that feels when we're not in it."

"Hmm. I hadn't thought about that before."

Maura moved so she was fully facing Jane. "There's something different about you since the shooting. You know, it is common for people who go through life-threatening or otherwise harrowing events to experience profound changes after."

"What, like PTSD?"

"Yes, that can happen but that's not what I mean for you." Maura paused so long Jane thought she was done but then she said, "Sometimes you're the same as you were before and sometimes it feels like you're a complete stranger and I'll never really know you again. But tonight you've been your old self again and it's confusing. How am I supposed to know which Jane I'm going to see on any given day."

"What about you? You told me you've changed."

"After I met you I changed. I opened myself up. I let my heart lead me sometimes instead of always listening to my brain. After you were hurt I wanted to go back and close myself off again. I tried to cut myself off from everyone. I spent a lot of time alone, like I used to, except this time I found I was lonely. So now I've tried to create some sort of balance. I'm not sure how successful I've been though." Maura turned away but Jane grabbed her wrist and pulled her back so they were facing each other again. "Do you think I've changed?" Maura asked.

Jane silently looked in Maura's eyes, like she was searching for something.

"You haven't answered me," Maura finally said without looking away.

Jane put a hand on Maura's neck and grazed her thumb over Maura's cheek. "I think you're beautiful." Jane leaned in and gently pressed her lips against Maura's.

For a second it felt so good, and then Jane felt Maura's hands on her chest, pushing her away. Maura stepped backwards and said breathlessly, "Jane, I can't. I just can't." Maura quickly walked back inside the house. Jane stood outside until she felt like she was completely frozen solid. She went inside and grabbed her jacket and went home.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane went home after the party, crawled into bed and went to sleep. She was too cold and tired to think about what had happened with Maura. In the morning she lay in bed and replayed the evening over in her head. The thing that stuck out was that Maura didn't say she didn't want to, she said she couldn't. That held promise.

But Jane had to stop thinking about Maura and get out of bed because it was Christmas day and she had plans. Police headquarters would be fairly empty which suited Jane's needs. Jane had come up with the following on her eleven cases:

1\. All 11 women were shot and killed with a single shot to the head or chest

2\. A "H" was carved or branded on each body

3\. Where ballistics evidence was found it was always a 38 special bullet and probably a Walther PPK pistol, both commonly used by law enforcement personnel

4\. The bodies were left out of sight but in public enough places they would be found relatively quickly by a passerby. Each woman was left in a different part of the city

5\. None of the women had prior criminal histories. Friends or family indicated that each woman had gone out the night before she was found murdered either with friends or for a date usually to a bar. But no suspects were ever identified from conversations with the last people the victims spent time with

Jane spot checked other solved and unsolved case files investigated by the Homicide detectives involved in her eleven cases and the casework in those look satisfactory. So the question Jane was left with was did the detectives deliberately do shitty work in these cases or was it random. And what did the H marking have to do with it? Was it some sort of message? Who was the message for?

Jane wanted to check the personnel files of the detectives involved in the investigations to see if anything jumped out at her there, but didn't want to ask anyone for access and tip anyone off that she was investigating other detectives. So Christmas day, when headquarters was relatively empty and administrative staff had the day off, Jane planned to break into the employee records archive.

Administrative offices were located on the second floor. After dropping her coat and bag in her office, Jane took the back stairway up to the deserted second floor and walked down the hall to the records archive. When Jane was younger Tommy had taught her how to pick locks and she had used the skill on more than one occasion since. He even had a lock picking kit that Jane had taken possession of when Tommy went to prison. Jane picked the lock to the records archive, went inside and closed the door. She used her phone to take pictures of relevant page of the personnel records for all of the detectives named in the case files.

When she was finished, Jane returned to her office to grab her coat before going home to download and print the pictures she had taken. She didn't want to do it on her work computer. Christ, she probably couldn't do it if she wanted to the computer was so old. But when Jane went into her office, in the center of her desk was a white envelope with Detective Rizzoli written on it.

Someone had been in her office while she was elsewhere in the building. Jane found a pair of latex gloves in her jacket and put them on before opening the envelope. She pulled out a single folded piece of paper with the following typed on it:

_Detective Rizzoli: You are getting involved in things that don't concern you and you know nothing about. If you know what is best for you and the Doc you will stop looking at those cases._

Jane found a plastic evidence bag in her desk, put the letter inside, and put the whole thing in her coat pocket. She grabbed her various handwritten notes on the files and everything else she had collected aside from the original case files, but left the files in the office, hoping that Maura's copies were still safe. If someone wanted to mess with the files she wanted to find out.

Jane left the building, went to her car and drove home watching for anyone tailing her. She made a couple of unnecessary stops and took a few wrong turns. She didn't see anything suspicious so she went home and parked outside her building. Getting out the car, Jane saw Maura sitting on her front steps. "What are you doing out here? You could have gone inside."

Maura stood up. "I didn't want to presume that I was still welcome to use the key you gave me. Where were you?"

"Work. Come on, we gotta go inside right now," Jane said hustling up the stairs, unlocking the door, and ushering Maura inside.

"What's going on?" Maura asked but Jane was already hurrying up the stairs to her apartment.

Once inside the apartment Jane handed Maura the letter. "Put gloves on before you take it out." Jane left Maura in the living room while she went into her bedroom and packed a bag with her laptop, a few changes of clothes and the other bare necessities.

Once she was packed, Jane went back to the living room. "Where did you get this?" Maura asked.

"Someone put it on my desk while I was in another part of the building today. I will answer all of your questions and also talk about whatever you came here to talk about soon, but first we need to do a few things. We need to go to your house and make sure the copies of the files are secure. Do you have a copy machine at your house?"

"Yes, I have one of the printer, copier, scanner machines."

"Do you have a safe?"

"Yes."

"Okay, right now I need you to drive me to your house. We need to make copies of those files and put one set in your safe. Then we can talk." Jane put the letter back in her pocket.

"Wait!" Maura nearly yelled. "Do you think we could actually be in danger?"

"I don't know. That's why we need to take some precautions first and then we'll try to figure out what is actually going on. Okay?"

Maura nodded. They went out to Maura's car. She drove while Jane watched for anything suspicious after instructing Maura to take a circuitous route home. Once inside Maura's house Jane said, "I'm really sorry about springing all of this on you so suddenly. Point me in the direction of the files and copier and let me take care of that and then we'll talk. You should just relax or whatever."

Maura left Jane in her study and went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. The afternoon had gone quite a bit differently than she had expected and now she needed to refocus her thoughts. Maura took down a book from her bookshelves and sat down on the couch, folding her legs to her side, and waited for Jane.

Jane finally emerged two hours later after making copies of the files and downloading and printing two copies of the pictures she took earlier in the day. She brought one set of copies down to Maura and Maura went to her bedroom to put them in her safe. Jane got a glass of water and slumped down on a chair in the living room.

A few minutes later Maura returned to her spot on the couch and asked, "Do we need to be concerned?"

"I don't know yet. I think we should be cautious though."

"How would anyone know what you are working on?"

"I can only guess someone was taking a look around my office. I haven't talked to anyone about these cases but you."

"I was included in the note," Maura said.

Jane set her glass down and sat forward in her chair. "I think that was more for my benefit. Someone may expect that I wouldn't take threats against myself very seriously, but threats against you I'm going to pay attention to. But did you notice the letter didn't use your name but said 'the Doc'? Who calls you Doc?"

"All of the detectives do. Most police officers do."

"Exactly. It was almost definitely either current or former police who wrote the letter. Which reminds me, would you be able to get prints off of the letter?" Jane asked.

"That's not my job, I've never done that before."

"But can you try? I can't ask anyone else and it has to be off the record."

"I'll see what I can do. At your apartment you packed a bag. Where are you going?"

"If anyone is watching me I don't want to make it easy for them. I also have to take the threat against you seriously. With your permission I would like to stay here. I can stay in the guest house if you'd prefer. Or I can go to a hotel or maybe stay with Frankie."

Maura shook her head. "No, no, you can stay here."

After a few minutes of silence, Jane said, "I'm sorry about, you know, kissing you."

"I don't think I'm sorry that you did. I can't say I've never thought about it before."

Jane looked confused. "Then why-"

"Why did I push you away?" Maura cut her off. "It happened so suddenly and I'm scared. I finally convinced myself that I can handle friendship. That I'm strong enough to deal with the emotions of something happening to you as a friend. Then to consider a romantic relationship...it's terrifying. And now here we are again with you possibly in danger."

"Still, I'm sorry I kissed you out of the blue like that. It wasn't fair of me to do that. I'm just so tired of pretending."

"Tired of pretending what?" Maura asked softly.

"Shit," Jane sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. "I'm tired of pretending that I'm not in love with you. I thought it would be easier, that it would go away if I stayed away from you. I was wrong. And then last night was so nice and you looked so beautiful, even with the ridiculous sweater, and I just didn't want pretend anymore. But it was wrong to kiss you. I should have said something instead."

Maura's eyes were bright with tears. "How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you loved me?" Maura said angrily.

Jane shook her head and said, "Forever."

Maura got off of the couch and started pacing. "How could you have gone so long without telling me? How could you pretend like that? How could I have not seen it? A week ago I had no idea you were even interested in women and now you're telling me you're in love with me. It changes everything I thought I knew about our friendship, about everything."

"Maura don't think like that. It's not like that. This isn't lust. I love you but I've never expected anything more from you than your friendship. And I only recently began acting on my attraction to women, you wouldn't have known beforehand."

Maura sank back onto the couch. "The woman I saw you talking to at the bar, did you go out with her?"

"No."

"Have you gone out with any other women?"

Jane cleared her throat. "Um, going out is maybe a bit strong of a description, but yes."

"How many women have you slept with?"

"Two."

Maura narrowed her eyes at Jane, "Were you or are you interested in them?"

"No. I haven't exactly been in a good place the past few months and I did some things I'm not proud of."

Maura's expression softened. "I'm not judging you. I'm just trying to understand this new information about you. What's going to happen tomorrow?"

Jane shrugged. "I don't know. We'll figure it out tomorrow."

Maura stood up and said, "I think I'm going to go to bed now. The guest room is all set up and you know where everything is so make yourself at home." Maura turned back when she reached the stairs, "Goodnight, Jane."


	12. Chapter 12

Maura went upstairs to her bedroom although she wasn't remotely tired. She was surprised mostly, surprised by Jane's revelation, but mostly surprised by her own reaction to it. Although a large part of her simply wanted to jump into Jane's arms the rest of her was angry and confused.

Maura could hear Jane moving around downstairs. Jane. It was always Jane. Since the day Jane had swaggered into her life, they had been inexorably moving towards tonight. Despite both of their best efforts they could not stay away from each other. And tonight was everything Maura had sought to avoid: confusion and complicated emotions.

Jane had hidden so much from her. There were times when Maura thought she felt a mutual attraction, but Jane had never indicated she had even the slightest romantic interest in women. And now Maura found out Jane had recently been sleeping with women. Maura might not always interact well with people but she certainly could usually read them. Jane was so frequently an enigma, though. It was probably what drew Maura to her, but right now it just made Maura angry.

Because in the end Maura did want to be with Jane. It had always been Jane. But Maura didn't think she was ready to take that step now. She had spent all her time pushing those feelings deeper inside because Jane hadn't given her any indication that they would be reciprocated. Or had she and Maura hadn't recognized it? That also bothered Maura alot, the idea that she could have missed something so crucial.

In the morning Maura was no closer knowing what her next step would be. She found Jane in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. Jane started to speak but before she could say anything Maura said, "I need more time to think about what you told me."

"Maura, I told you I don't expect anything from you."

"It's not that simple. You can't just tell me something like that and then say, oh don't worry about it. I think you deserve some sort of response, I'm just not sure what my response is yet. But...do you think it's possible for us to just spend a normal day together like we used to?"

"I was going to work on the cases but yeah, okay. Did you have something in mind?" Jane asked skeptically.

"Yes, but don't laugh."

"Okay."

"Will you take me to the shooting range and teach me to use a gun?"

Jane snorted. "Really? Why?"

"Because if I'm going to be around you a lot it seems like something I should know how to do."

Jane frowned and slumped her shoulders. "Wow, that's just a terrible thing to have thought about."

"No it's not, it's practical," Maura said defiantly.

"Nope, still terrible. I don't want you to think about me like that. Being around me isn't supposed to be dangerous."

"Please?"

"Okay, if that's really what you want to do. But the police shooting range is outdoors."

"That's okay."

After breakfast Jane and Maura cleaned up and then got dressed to go to the shooting range. Going out the door, Maura handed her keys to Jane and said, "Here, you drive."

"Really?"

"I don't know how to get there and if you're going to make me do the evasive driving thing like yesterday, I'd prefer that you just drive."

"Okay." Both women got in the car and Jane said, "Uh, little help. I don't know how to start your new space-age car."

"Just push the Start button."

"Ah, of course." Jane drove through the city and after they got onto 93 South Jane said, "There's someone following us."

"Are you sure?" Maura asked and started to look around.

"Yup. Don't turn around, use your visor mirror. See the blue Ford Explorer?"

"What should we do?"

Jane thought for a moment. "It looks like there's only one guy in the car and we don't know if he's just watching us or wants something more. We could continue on as though we didn't notice him and see if tries to follow us all the way out to the shooting range, but it could be deserted out there and then it will just be us and him. I could just keep driving, he's gonna run outta gas way before us. Or I could stop somewhere. We're close to the South Shore Mall. We could see if he tails us there and then if it is busy enough we can try to lose him. What do you think?"

"Are you suggesting this is my decision?"

"If I was alone I would go for confrontation, but I'm trying to keep you out of danger, remember?"

Maura was indignant. "I'm not some delicate flower that needs protecting," she said angrily.

"I didn't say-" Jane started.

"So you can stop treating me like one."

"Okay, but this isn't your battle. We're being followed because of me."

"It's my battle now. He must have been watching my house to be following us now. Let's go to the shooting range. If he follows us there, it's your call what we do."

Jane exited the highway and drove through the streets of North Quincy towards the road to Moon Island where the BPD shooting range was located. While driving she had formulated a plan. "Okay, we're still being followed. Here's what we're going to do. We're about to get on the causeway to Moon Island. It's almost a mile long and surrounded by water on both sides. If he follows us on the road, I'm going to confront him there. When I get out of the car, I want you to get in the driver's seat and be prepared to drive away if anything goes wrong. You'll be more helpful if you are safely away than there and in danger. Agreed?"

Maura nodded seriously. "Yes."

"Alright, here we go, hold on." They reached the causeway, a narrow strip of land with a two land road to Moon Island. When they hit the road Jane sped up. When she got a little past the midway point to the island, she slammed on the breaks and spun the car around. She drove back towards their pursuer, who was so surprised he slammed on his brakes. Jane stopped their car a little past his stopped car, and in a flash jumped out, pulled her gun and opened the driver's side door of his car.

Pointing her gun in his face Jane said, "Hands up and step out of the car." He complied and she reached in and turned off his car. "Keep your hands in the air and move away from the car," Jane directed him until he was standing in the middle of the road ten feet from their cars. "Where's your ID?"

"Wallet is in the center console. Hurts my back if it's in my pocket."

Jane gave him a look but reached in and grabbed the wallet and removed the license. "Bernard Sullivan of Lynn. What do you do Bernard."

"I'm a private investigator. My license is also in the wallet."

Jane verified that it was. "Why are you following us?"

"I was hired to watch your friend and report on her daily activities. Nothing more than that."

"Who hired you?"

Bernard was silent.

Jane revealed the badge on her hip. "Are you aware that I'm a police officer?"

"Shit. I am now."

"I can arrest you right now for harassing a police officer. You could lose your PI license. Or you can answer my questions and then be on your way. Who hired you?"

"Robert Petrozelli."

"Did he say why you were supposed to follow her?"

"No. He just wanted a daily report."

"Did you ask why?"

"He made it clear that any questions I had wouldn't be answered. And the customer is always right, right?"

"How long have you been on this job?"

"About a week."

"Okay." Jane tossed the wallet in the car and moved away from it. "Get in your car, turn around, drive away, and let Mr. Petrozelli know that your assignment is over. If I see you again, ever, I will arrest you."

Jane watched as he returned to his car, turned it around, and drove away. When he was out of sight she went to the passenger side of Maura's car and got in. Maura had an unreadable look on her face. "He was following you. Do you know anyone named Robert Petrozelli?"

"No, I don't think so."

"He didn't seem to know who I was so I don't think he knew anything other than his job was to follow you and report on your movements. There must be someone who is supposed to be following me too. Unless the idea is just to harass you to upset me."

"It's okay. It must mean that we, or more specifically you, are getting close to something." Maura started the car and turned it back around towards the shooting range.

"You still want to learn to shoot?" Jane asked.

"Of course. You know that if someone thinks they can intimidate me to get to you they're wrong."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to get that."

Jane got them checked in at the shooting range. The day turned out to be pleasantly mild for December and it reminded Jane of the last time she had been out here and how different things were now. How different they were from what she had planned. Jane led Maura to where they could shoot and showed Maura the basics of how to use the gun and then shot a few rounds to demonstrate appropriate stance and arm positioning. Now all of the pain from being shot was gone, Jane noted.

Jane handed Maura the gun and watched as she replicated what Jane had shown her. Jane adjusted Maura's hips and arms a little bit and then stepped back and gave Maura the okay to shoot. Maura lined up the sight and pulled the trigger. When the bullet hit the target just off the center bulls-eye, Maura turned to Jane with the biggest smile she'd seen in a long time. Jane smiled equally big in return.


	13. Chapter 13

After the shooting range Jane and Maura stopped to grab some sandwiches before going back to Maura's house where Jane disappeared into the guest room. Maura knew Jane would want to look into the new information she had learned and that Jane had been very patient at the shooting range when Maura wanted to stay and shoot over and over until she felt confident that she knew how to use the gun.

On the drive back to Maura's house they had discussed whether Jane should still stay at Maura's house for safety. Jane seemed conflicted, Maura thought, about whether it was safer for Maura if Jane was there or not there. For her part, Maura felt better about the two of them sticking together. Jane seemed less likely to do something rash if Maura was around, so Maura asked Jane to continue to stay.

Jane was upstairs for about an hour. Maura didn't really know how the detectives did background research into people, but she decided it was probably better she didn't know how easy it was to invade people's privacy.

"Well," Jane said when she came downstairs, "Bernard Sullivan seems to have checked out and be who he says he is. Nothing sketchy came up on him. Robert Petrozelli, on the other hand, is a little more interesting. Former police, homicide detective, and eventually Lieutenant. Retired in 1993 at age 52 with thirty years of service. Did some security consulting work for a few years after that, but seems largely to have had a quiet retirement living in West Roxbury. I'm gonna go out for a little while. I can bring back dinner if you want."

Maura was surprised. "Where are you going?"

"I want to talk to Korsak."

"You can't use the phone?"

"No. I won't be gone long."

Jane drove to Korsak's house in South Boston, the home of equal numbers of cops and criminals going back at least a hundred years. Korsak opened the door shortly after Jane's knock. "Jane, is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to ask a question about a former cop you may have known."

"Oh, well come in." Korsak directed her to his living room.

Jane dove right in and asked, "Did you work with Robert Petrozelli?"

"No, he retired before I got to Homicide. Why are you asking about him?"

Jane had put on her interrogation face. "I'd rather not say."

"You can trust me Jane."

"I'm not sure if I can trust anyone right now. And we haven't exactly been close recently."

"You know that's mostly on you. But look, Petrozelli was in Homicide when they didn't do shit. When he retired they brought in new leadership from other divisions and forced a few other detectives into retirement. But he must have had some dirt on somebody because the brass never tried to get rid of him. Or if they tried, they weren't successful."

"Anything else you can remember?"

Korsak shifted uncomfortably. "There was talk, rumors, that Homicide was dirty, that they weren't guys to cross. But nothing specific."

Jane was confused. "How can homicide be dirty? There's nothing in Petrozelli's information to suggest he was getting money, unless he's very good a hiding it or has been sitting on it for twenty years."

"I don't mean money. There were rumors that the reason their clearance rate was low was because they weren't trying very hard to solve certain murders. I don't know any more than that."

"That's fucked up. Someone was snooping in my office and got concerned about something I found. And Petrozelli was tipped off because somehow it involves him. The problem is I don't know what it is that I found. Do you know anyone still around that would have connections to Petrozelli?"

"No, I don't. There can't be too many people."

Jane got up to leave.

"Jane, whatever you've gotten yourself into, be careful."

Jane nodded and then left. She stopped by her usual Chinese take-out place and picked up dinner before returning to Maura's house. Jane didn't notice anything suspicious or anyone following her. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Was Petrozelli backing off or gearing up for something bigger?

At Maura's, Jane updated Maura on the conversation with Korsak while they ate dinner. On the drive back, Jane decided that she needed to give Maura all the information she had with the hope that Maura's brain could help her get to the bottom of what was going on faster.

After they ate, Jane brought down all of the files and the personnel information she hadn't shown Maura yet. She spread everything on Maura's dining table and they sat down across each other and started going through files again.

Four hours later they were still at it. At some point Jane moved to the couch. After her third time through the files, Maura looked around and realized Jane was asleep. Maura was about the wake Jane up but stopped and just looked at her. Jane had curled on her side and dropped the file she was reading on the floor. She looked so peaceful and content sleeping and Maura felt what had become a very familiar pull towards Jane.

Times like this Maura thought it would be so easy to give in to her feelings and forget about the risk involved in entrusting her heart to Jane. How different could it really be from where they were now? "Jane," Maura said softly."

"Mmm?"

"Come on, it's time for bed."

Jane cracked an eye open. "Why did you wake me up then?"

"Because you're on the couch and your back will hurt tomorrow if you sleep there."

Jane slowly swung her legs to the floor and sat up. She ran her hands over her face and through her hair. "Did you find anything?"

"No. We'll keep looking tomorrow. Come to bed." Maura reached out her hand to help Jane off of the couch. Once Jane stood up, Maura laced her fingers with Jane's and led Jane upstairs.

Maura didn't let go at the top of the stairs and pulled Jane into her bedroom. Just inside the doorway Maura stopped and turned around. She smoothed her hands over Jane's shoulders. "Do you think you would be willing to stay in here with me tonight?"

Jane sighed. "I wouldn't want to get the wrong idea. You're kinda sending mixed signals, Maur."

"Just, after our day, it would make me feel better." It wasn't a lie, just an omission of critical facts. Jane would assume that Maura meant she was feeling uneasy after discovering she was being followed. Maura simply selfishly wanted to see what felt like to go sleep and wake up next to Jane.

Jane relented. "Just let me go change and stuff."

When Jane came back, in shorts and a t-shirt and her hair pulled into a ponytail, Maura was already lying on her back under her fluffy white comforter. The bedroom was freezing and Jane quickly slid under the covers and settled on her side facing Maura. Maura turned towards Jane and studied her face. She tucked a stray lock of hair behind Jane's ear. "You look tired. Are you taking care of yourself at all?"

"Jesus," Jane rolled her eyes. "The past few weeks I think I've been doing better. Since we've been talking again. I think that's helped. And these cases have given me some focus."

Maura returned to lying on her back and was silent for a few minutes before saying, "I do love you, Jane. I just...I just don't know if I can be with you."

"What am I supposed to do with that information?"

"I don't know," Maura said softly.

"Am I supposed to wait for you to figure it out?"

"I didn't say that."

Under the covers Jane put her hand on Maura's upper arm. "Goodnight, Maura."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning, Jane woke up in an empty bed. She was slightly disoriented until she remembered she had slept in Maura's bed. She looked at the clock. It was only 7am. Jane got out of bed and shivered. It was freezing. She went into the guest room and put on pants and a sweatshirt before going downstairs to find Maura.

Maura was at the table. "What are you doing?" Jane asked.

"I think I have something. I woke up and had a thought and came down here to see what happened. I made a timeline of the murders and and a timeline of when the detectives you have the files on started working in Homicide. Look, when the two are combined the murders match up to within a week of the start dates of the new detectives. Not all the murders are matched, but seven are and you may not have a full list of detectives."

"Holy shit, Maura," Jane said looking at the lists. "How did you figure this out?"

"I don't know. While we're sleeping our brains process information from the day. Something must have clicked in my brain."

"This can't just be coincidence, right?" Jane muttered.

"It seems improbable that this could be a result of chance."

"This is bad. This is really, really, bad. What the fuck is going on here?"

"The explanation that seems most logical based on this evidence is that somehow the homicide department was involved in the murders. It's almost too terrible to even consider. What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I need more evidence."

"I need to go to work this morning. Are you coming in too?"

"Um, yeah, I should, but you go ahead and I'll see you there."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane spent some more time looking over the details Maura put together and trying to figure out her next move. When she was finally ready to go to the office she remembered she didn't have a car so she took the subway. She went straight to her office where she found someone already occupying her desk chair.

He appeared to be calmly waiting for her. Jane looked him over. He looked to be in his early seventies. He had white, thinning hair. He looked like he used to be a big guy but had lost some of his stature with age. "Robert Petrozelli?" Jane said.

"Detective Rizzoli. How nice to see you?"

"What do you want?"

"Since you seemed so unimpressed with my note and with Bernie, I thought I should pay you a visit myself. Let me make myself as clear as possible. If you don't drop this investigation immediately, you are going to get hurt."

Jane sat down in the other chair the office. "You may want to reconsider whether you still have friends you can trust in this building. Someone upstairs assigned me to these cases and if they knew what I going to find then they want to take you down."

Petrozelli barked a short laugh. "They'll never risk the embarrassment this would cause and you won't risk it either."

"I think you may been misinformed about me. Look around you. I can't go any lower than this. You have nothing on me."

"Really? You wouldn't want anything to happen to your pretty friend would you?" he smirked.

"I would suggest that you don't underestimate her. But if I hear that someone so much as cuts her off in traffic I'm going to hold you responsible. You're not the only one who knows how to make a homicide unsolvable."

"You sure are a cocky bitch. Back in my day they didn't let lezzie bitches like you be detectives."

"From what I understand, back in your day there weren't too many murders getting solved either."

Petrozelli rose and headed to the door. "I'll see you around Rizzoli."

"Why those women?" Jane called after him.

Petrozelli eyed her. "They were cocky bitches too."


	14. Chapter 14

After Petrozelli left her office, Jane looked through the personnel files again. She needed to find someone she could go talk to who might possibly be receptive. She narrowed in on Michael Brosnan. He had worked his way up to Homicide, and Maura had linked him to a murder based on the timeline, but he had only stayed in Homicide for about a year.

Jane found his current address and then sent Maura a text telling her she was going to see Brosnan and that she'd see her at home. Then she walked the short way to her apartment to get her car and drove to Brosnan's house in Charlestown.

Jane knocked on Brosnan's door with her badge visible on her hip and he answered shortly. "Hi, my name is Detective Jane Rizzoli. Can I ask you a few questions?"

"I knew this day would come. I honestly thought it would be sooner. Are you here to arrest me?"

"Uh, no. Well, not yet anyway. I can just come in so we can talk?"

"Yes, of course. Come on in." Jane followed Brosnan and looked around the apartment. It was filthy. All manner of papers were stacked on just about every available surface. He led her into his kitchen and then each took a seat at a small table in the corner of the room.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked

"No, thank you."

"Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"I'm looking at old unsolved cases. I found a string of murders that had similar characteristics. You were assigned to one of them. You left homicide not too long after. Another one of the murders occurred the first week you were assigned to homicide. I want you to tell me what you know about these murders."

"I know everything about the murders. I've spent twenty years waiting for this day. Waiting for someone like you to show up and ask these questions."

"Why didn't you tell anyone what you know?"

Brosnan sighed. "I'm a coward. That's not an excuse but it's true. You know what they do to cops in jail. And I'm afraid of Lieutenant Petrozelli. I have an ex-wife and two kids. They hate me, but Petrozelli said if I ever told anyone anything he would hurt them. And he is a crazy, dangerous motherfucker."

Jane was silent. He was rambling a bit but she thought it might be the best way to get all the info from him.

"From the time I became a cop I wanted to make detective and I wanted to work homicides. They were always the elite squad. And even though when I was a beat cop there was talk of homicide being into bad stuff and operating like a cult under Petrozelli, I still wanted to be there and I was overjoyed when I was eventually assigned to homicide." He sighed. "The rumors didn't even come close. It was like a cult. The guys who bought into Petrozelli's bullshit acted like they were gods, like they had power over life and death because they investigated murders. I couldn't take it. So after about a year I requested a transfer and I went into Narcotics. But he's still had a hold over me this whole time."

"Tell me about the women. I know a lot of the story, but I don't know why." Jane said.

"It was like an initiation into the department. Petrozelli told us that we needed to get insight into the mind of a killer. Like to solve murders you had to understand what it meant to kill. And we had be man enough to do it, to not be weak about death. We had to be willing to kill in the line of duty without hesitation so this was proving we could do it. It makes me sick to think I was naïve enough and spineless enough to do what he told me to do."

Jane was stony faced but inside she was boiling. "Forgive me if I don't exactly feel bad for you. All this time the families of these women have gone on not knowing why they were killed and without anyone being punished for it and you've known this whole time. What about the H?"

"H for homicide. It seems pretty obvious if you think about it."

"Sure, if you're thinking it's the police killing people. How were the women chosen?"

"Nothing special. Our first week on the job Petrozelli would take us out for a drink. Sometimes other guys would come too. They'd decide on a woman and we'd follow her when she left the bar. He'd narrow in on some woman and decide she was a bitch or too full of herself. Some of the other detectives talked about their victims among us and it seemed like they all had the same experience. They talked about it like a rite of passage, like losing your virginity or something. I've been waiting for so long for someone to take Petrozelli down."

"There's not much evidence in the files. How do I prove Petrozelli was ordering these murders?"

"I don't know. But I have something for you." Brosnan got up and disappeared upstairs. He returned with a plastic evidence bag with a bullet and casing inside. "This is the bullet I used. We were supposed to use our service weapons, it made it more of a risk or some other bullshit. A few years after I went into Narcotics I was involved in a shootout with suspected heroin smugglers. I was still using the same gun then and they performed the standard ballistics tests to verify the officer's accounts of incident. So this bullet will match my gun in the database."

"How do I prove this bullet was used to kill your victim?" Jane asked.

"Just log it as evidence in the original case file. No one will know. And then you happened to decide to test the ballistics evidence again."

"That's a terrible idea, but it's the best I've got right now. Mr. Brosnan, thanks for your help, but frankly, I hope you rot in jail for the rest of your life. I'd arrest you right now, but I need to prove the rest of this first."

"Good luck, Detective, and watch your back."

Jane left and went back to headquarters. She took the bullet Brosnan gave her and tried to make it look like it had been with the evidence from the case of the woman he killed all along. If anyone looked at all closely at the case file and evidence logs they'd know something was off, but Jane just had to hope it would never come to that. She pulled all of the bullets and casings that had been logged as evidence in the eleven cases, brought them all to the forensics lab, and asked that ballistics testing be performed and the bullets and casings be checked against all available databases. Then Jane went to Maura's house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Maura arrived home she found Jane slumped in the middle of the couch, seemingly staring at nothing. "Jane, are you okay?"

Jane gave a brief summary of what she had learned from Brosnan and then said, "Sometimes this job makes me hate all people. Don't you ever get tired or depressed by what you see?" Jane said, sounding more tired than Maura had ever heard her.

Maura slipped off her shoes and sat down on the couch, tucking her legs under her and facing Jane. "There's a clinical detachment in what I do. I only have to determine what happened and how. You need to figure out why and who. It's very different. You have so much more to deal with."

"The whole premise of doing this job is that there are good people and bad people and it's supposed to be obvious who the bad people are. We're investigating murders. Bad people commit murder. But if the good guys are also the bad guys, how do we go on?"

"Just because there are sometimes dirty cops, that doesn't mean we can't tell the good guys from the bad guys."

"Are you sure?" Jane said with more energy and conviction. "Marino killed another cop. But I killed him. What does that make me?"

Maura put her hand on Jane's arm in what she hoped was a calming fashion. "You shot him because he was a bad guy."

"It took nothing at all for Petrozelli to get those guys to commit murder. Some bullshit about what it takes to be a homicide detective with some macho talk thrown in and that was it."

"Charismatic leaders are capable of getting people to take extreme actions. And when you add in that he was an authority figure, he had a lot of power over people."

"How can you try to rationalize what they did?" Jane said angrily.

"I'm not. I'm just saying that there are explanations and lots of examples of normally rational people doing horrible things."

"What if we're not the good guys like we think we are?" Jane asked, sounding tired again.

"You find people who commit murder. You bring closure to grieving families. You put criminals in prison."

"We can make mistakes."

"I don't." Maura hoped that would lighten the mood a little but Jane just looked at her more intently.

"Maura," Jane said slowly, "All the time we spent avoiding each other...I was lost without you. I need you."

Maura felt like her heart was going to leap out of her throat, despite the obvious fact that that was physically impossible. There was something so raw about Jane right now it was both scary and irresistible. Before Maura had time to think anymore she was pressing her lips against Jane's.

There was no hesitation on Jane's part. She pulled Maura onto her lap, resting her hands on Maura's waist and parted her lips just enough to take Maura's lower lip into her mouth.

Maura let out a small gasp at Jane's actions but didn't pull away. She threaded her fingers into Jane's hair and kissed Jane deeply, hoping to convey all of her feelings in that kiss. At one point when they stopped for a breath, Maura said, "I hate thinking about you being with those other women."

"They weren't important. They didn't matter. And how do you think I felt every time you went out on a date?"

Maura didn't bother answering, she just started kissing Jane again, eagerly exploring Jane's mouth with her tongue.

Neither woman knew how long they had been in that position kissing when Jane's cell phone rang. She pulled the phone off her hip and looked at the caller ID, and surprised, said, "It's Korsak." She answered the phone, "Rizzoli."

"Uh, Jane, did you know a Michael Brosnan?" Korsak asked.

"Yes, why?"

"I'm at his house right now. He's dead. It looks like a suicide."

"I'll be right there."

"No, just go to headquarters. I'll meet you there soon," Korsak said and hung up.


	15. Chapter 15

Jane reluctantly left Maura's embrace and drove to headquarters. Maura tried to come with her, but Jane told her to stay home. She went up to the bullpen. Korsak wasn't there but Cavanaugh seemed to be waiting for her. "Rizzoli, come with me right now." She followed him to one of the interview rooms and they each took a seat at the table.

"What the hell is going on?" Jane asked.

"We're hoping you can tell us. Michael Brosnan was found dead in his house tonight. A neighbor reported hearing a gunshot and the reporting officers found him dead in his kitchen. It looks like suicide and I expect gunshot residue on his hands will confirm that. He left a note. Korsak took a picture and sent it to me."

Cavanaugh held up his phone and Jane read the note in the picture: "Detective Jane Rizzoli has all the answers."

"Would you care to explain what the hell that means?" Cavanaugh asked.

"No," Jane answered.

"Excuse me? I am ordering you to tell me what you know."

"No. I'm waiting for the lab to process some evidence and then I'll be able to explain everything. But until then, I can't tell you."

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I'll take my chances."

"Dammit, Rizzoli. You're going to be lucky if you still have a job when this is over. Stay here, I'll be back later."

Cavanaugh left. A few minutes later a man Jane didn't know came into the room and sat down across from her.

"Hello, Detective Rizzoli. I'm Captain John Hobbs from Internal Affairs. We need to discuss a few things."

"I will not be discussing anything with you, Captain," Jane answered curtly.

"You can start by listening then. There some of us still on the force that are well aware of what Petrozelli was up to, myself included. A decision was made to keep it a secret. BPD may not be able to withstand a scandal of this magnitude. The damage to our reputation would be devastating, not to mention the inevitable lawsuits, etc. But we were fairly confident that even if those cases were reopened, there was so little information or evidence, no one would ever figure it out. We simply had to make sure everyone who knew about the murders kept quiet, and that was relatively easy to accomplish. Until you. I have no idea how you figured it out, but the important thing now is that you understand that you need to remain silent."

"You were the one watching what I was doing weren't you? Snooping in my office? You left me that note?" Jane asked.

Hobbs nodded. "After you returned to work, IAD was instructed to keep a close watch on you, given your past history, and I took that job on myself. It was coincidence that you stumbled upon the cases that you did. When I discovered what you were working on, I alerted Petrozelli and we came up with a plan to dissuade you from continuing your work on the cases."

"It was a piss poor plan."

"I admit we made some mistakes at first, but not anymore."

Something clicked in Jane's brain. "John Hobbs? You were a Sergeant in Homicide under Petrozelli weren't you?"

"Yes," he answered.

"And now you're in Internal Affairs? What a joke. Which woman did you kill? Or maybe it was one I missed because there must have been more than the eleven I found. Did you help him pick out the women? You are so full of shit. This isn't about protecting the BPD. This is only about protecting your own ass."

Hobbs smirked. "You are a good detective, Rizzoli."

Jane reacted to Hobbs' movement as it happened. He had dropped his hand below the desk and stood up quickly, pulling up his arm and pointing his gun at Jane. Jane had mirrored his movements exactly. "What are you going to do Hobbs, shoot me right in police headquarters? How are you going to explain that?"

"You pulled a gun on me. Blah, blah, blah."

"How can you live with yourself knowing that the families of all of those women have been waiting over 20 years to find out why they were killed and to have someone punished for it?" Jane said angrily.

"Ah, yes, Jane Rizzoli, Queen of self-righteousness. How do you think Bobby Marino's family feels?"

Jane clenched her jaw. "He killed another cop. He was going to kill me."

"So you got to decide that he should die for his actions?"

"I wasn't trying to kill him. What the fuck are we doing here? If you were going to kill me you would have done it already."

Hobbs smirked again. "Why haven't you taken a shot at me? Afraid you'll accidentally kill me?"

At that moment the door to the interview room opened. Jane expected it to be Korsak or Cavanaugh. But it was Petrozelli. Jane swiveled and aimed her gun at him. She heard him say, "The coast is clear, let's do it," and then heard a gunshot. She dropped to the ground as the bullet tore through her left shoulder and she was consumed by pain. She heard movement and then everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane came to when a searing pain engulfed the lower right side of her back. She cried out and tried to move away but she couldn't move. She opened her eyes and she was in a room she didn't recognize and tied to a chair. Her head was pounding and her shoulder was haphazardly covered with large bandages and tape and Jane could see blood seeping through. Petrozelli stepped out from behind her carrying what appeared to be a branding iron and Jane realized what the pain she was feeling was from just having been burned.

"Now you'll really be able to empathize with all those women Jane, because you're going to die just like them," Petrozelli said.

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for?" Jane growled.

"There's a few more loose ends to tie up."

As details started coming back to Jane she asked, "How did you get me out of police headquarters?"

"I created a little diversion with a bomb scare. That idiot Hobbs wasn't supposed to shoot you, but fortunately no one was around to hear the shot."

Hobbs burst into the room pushing Maura ahead of him and roughly pushed her down on the floor. "She wasn't too difficult. In fact she came quite easily when she heard we had Rizzoli. How do you think you're going to help her now, you stupid bitch?"

Maura's eyes widened when she took in Jane's appearance and said, "I'm sorry Jane," but Jane saw a look of steely resolve in her eyes.

"Now Jane, we can kill you both. As far as I can tell from our rather extensive surveillance, Dr. Isles is the only person you talked to about your cold cases. Except for poor Brosnan of course. But he did kill himself, I can't take credit for that. When Hobbs was asked to keep an eye on you, Jane, he took the liberty of wiretapping your phone as well as undertaking a number of other measures."

"It was quite boring for awhile, Rizzoli," Hobbs chimed in. "You hardly communicated with anyone for awhile except those bitches you were fucking. But then I found the files in your office and shortly after confirmed Dr. Isles had copies as well."

"You were in my house?" Maura blurted out.

"Yes, several times," Hobbs answered.

"Why do criminals always have to brag about their exploits before killing someone? Are you waiting for someone to stop you or something?" Jane said.

"Good point," Petrozelli said. "You are the only two people who know what we did, so now we're going to kill you."

"No you aren't," Maura said calmly. "Just before Captain Hobbs came to my house I received an email from the forensics lab with the results of ballistics tests Jane submitted earlier this afternoon that matched bullets recovered from the women you ordered killed to several guns already in the database, including a gun that belonged to you Mr. Petrozelli. Because of the nature of the results, and because the lab was unable to get in touch with Detective Rizzoli, the information was sent to myself, Lt. Cavanaugh, the Chief of Police, and probably a dozen other people. In fact Captain Hobbs, if you check your phone, you probably received the email as well."

Hobbs and Petrozelli looked at each other. Hobbs pulled out his phone and found the email and verified that what Maura said was true. Then Hobbs and Petrozelli began arguing with each other.

Jane ignored them and focused on Maura, locking eyes with her. She tapped her left foot and nodded. Before Jane left Maura's house they had talked about safety precautions for the evening. Brosnan's death and Jane being called in was extremely suspicious. Jane agreed to stop at her apartment before going to headquarters and picking up the small Smith & Wesson revolver she kept as a personal weapon just in case anything weird happened. Fortunately, Hobbs and Brosnan had taken her Glock, but hadn't searched her further.

Maura moved quickly. She pulled out the revolver from the holster on Jane's left leg, stood up, and raised the gun.

"Two to the torso," Jane said.

Maura quickly fired off four rounds and both men fell to the ground.

"Grab their guns, quickly," Jane said and Maura complied. "Take the guns outside and call for help." When Maura hesitated, Jane yelled, "Now."

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Jane passed out and when she woke up again she was in the hospital. Her back still burned but her shoulder felt considerably better and appeared to be professionally bandaged, although moving it seemed impossible. Maura came in the room and Jane immediately said, "When do I get to leave?"

"As long as you tell the doctor you feel okay, you get to leave today."

"How long was I out?"

Maura sat down on the bed next to Jane. "You went into surgery as soon as they got you to the hospital and they knocked you out for awhile. It's been about 10 hours."

"How are you?"

"Fine. We're going to have a lot of questions to answer but it will be fine. Hobbs and Petrozelli are both in the hospital, but they are alive and under arrest."

"You were quite impressive with the gun," Jane smiled.

"I had a good teacher."

"How are you really?" Jane asked.

"Really, I'm okay. This isn't my first time being held hostage remember?" Maura leaned in and kissed Jane softly on the lips. "I'm okay, don't worry. I'm going to go find the doctor so we can go home."


	16. Chapter 16

December 29th

Jane stayed in the hospital until late afternoon. The doctor wanted to make sure she didn't have any symptoms of concussion.

In early afternoon Korsak came to visit. Korsak started by saying, "Jane I'm so sorry. We were at the crime scene. When I got back to headquarters, I couldn't get in the building. Someone dropped a box in the lobby and then called in a bomb threat. We think it was Petrozelli. He wanted to create a diversion so they could get you out of the building."

"What happened to Cavanaugh? He left me in the interview room and that's when Hobbs came in." Jane asked.

"It seems that Cavanaugh was the only other person left on that floor. Petrozelli knocked him out probably with the butt of his gun. He's got a pretty good concussion. He says he didn't even know Hobbs was in the room with you."

Jane rubbed at her own head where Petrozelli had hit her and knocked her out. "Is there any reason to think Cavanaugh could have been working with Petrozelli?"

"He never worked with Petrozelli in Homicide so I would think no, but I can't say for sure. He did get a good crack on the head. Janie, you're still going to have explain what the hell was going on?

Jane took him through the basics of what she had learned about Petrozelli's initiation ritual.

"We always heard they were bad guys, but I don't think anyone ever guessed it was anything like that. I can't believe it was kept secret this long. Why did Brosnan leave that note?"

"I went to talk to him yesterday. I had the general idea figured out but not all the facts. He told me it was an initiation and that Petrozelli basically chose the women that would be killed. He was not in a good place and told me he'd been waiting years for someone to figure it out and arrest him. He gave me the idea to do the ballistics tests to see if they matched any records added to the database since those cases."

"You have Frost working on the arrest warrants?" Korsak asked.

"Yeah. I wanted to get them taken care of quickly for the cases with ballistics matches. I'm guessing at least one of the ex cops that gets arrested is going to talk and all of the other cases will get closed."

"You did good, Jane. I'm glad you're okay."

Korsak left. Maura had gone to run some errands. She came back shortly after Korsak left. She had a lot of things she wanted to say but didn't want to say them in the hospital. She was anxious to get Jane home. Once Maura made up mind about something she wanted to make it happen and she really wanted to talk to Jane. So when the doctor finally allowed Jane to leave, Maura took Jane home with her without hesitation.

Once at home, Maura sat Jane down on the couch and sat down next to her, mimicking their positions from the previous evening. Maura took in Jane's appearance. Her left arm was in a sling and her shirt bulged from the bandages around her shoulder. Maura knew there were bandages on Jane's back too. The doctor said there was no concussion but from the tiredness around Jane's eyes, Maura could tell her head was still aching.

"Maura," Jane started.

Maura rubbed Jane's right arm. "You don't have to say anything."

"Yes I do. You saved my life. You were amazing. No matter what happens from this day forward, I will never forget that. And you shouldn't ever forget what you did and how brave you were. And you put the pieces together about what Petrozelli was doing. Without you, I still wouldn't have solved the cases or I would be dead."

"Thank you. But now I want to tell you a few things, if you're up to it."

Jane nodded.

"I realize my behavior the past few days has probably seemed inconsistent. I went from pushing you away to pinning you to the couch last night. I don't deal very well with surprises, even very, very good surprises. You kissing me and telling me you love me was such a big surprise. I needed time to think about it. I don't rush into things, but that also means that once I make a decision, I know I'm making the right one. I want to be with you. I think I've always wanted to be with you but now I know for sure. I love you, Jane."

"Not to ruin this moment, but how come you aren't running away this time?" Jane asked.

"I thought we both were going to die. I wasn't nearly as afraid of dying as I was of having to live without you. But it doesn't matter, I'm not running from you ever again."

"What happens now?"

"I'm going to make you dinner and then we're gonna go to sleep. And we'll figure out more tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 30

Angela was at Maura's house bright and early. Maura woke up when she heard Angela moving around in the kitchen, making coffee and cooking. She rolled over and looked at Jane sleeping next to her. Jane had to sleep propped up on several pillows so she wouldn't roll onto her hurt shoulder and Maura made her take painkillers so she'd sleep through the night.

Maura sat up and gently said, "Jane, wake up sweetie." Jane stirred and Maura pressed a kiss to Jane's lips.

Jane kissed back as she woke up. "Hey," Jane said sleepily as she opened her eyes and then she groaned as she tried to sit up more. "No, I'm okay," she said at Maura's worried look, "just a little stiff."

"Your mother is downstairs making breakfast. I'm sure she wants to take care of you today."

"Okay, let's go downstairs." Jane said.

Maura looked shocked. "Really? Just like that? No complaining about her and her mothering and her meddling? Are you sure you're okay?"

"Are you making a joke?" Jane grinned. "No complaining today. Plus this is life now right? Waking up with my mother living right next door. I mean, you know, nights I stay over, if I do, not that I'm like moving in here or anything. Jesus, stop me anytime," Jane sighed.

Maura laughed. "You are definitely staying here until you are more healed. That's not up for discussion. After that we can talk about it more. Although I was thinking that your mother might want to make use of your empty apartment should you find someplace else to live."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 31

Jane stood in the bathroom with her back to the mirror. She looked over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror. The pink raised skin of the H burned into her back stood out clearly against her olive skin. Maura said that with surgery or treatment or something she could get rid of the H, but Jane didn't want to. It would always serve as a reminder of why she had made the decision she had made.

Early that day she had a meeting with Cavanaugh and some other brass. Now she was getting ready for dinner with Maura, during which she would have to tell her about the meeting. Maura wanted to go out to dinner for New Year's Eve. Neither woman said it aloud, but it was kind of like their first date and Jane was very aware of that. But it also kind of wasn't. In some ways it was sort of like they'd skipped the dating phase and were into full blown relationship. Or something. Jane wasn't sure exactly what they were, but she decided not to worry about it too much. They loved each other. Maura said she wanted to be with her. So until Maura said otherwise, Jane was just going to go with it.

Maura planned the dinner details, but Jane asked for something not too fancy because it was still difficult for her to successfully wear clothing over her injured shoulder. In fact, she needed Maura's help to get her button down shirt on her hurt arm and button it up.

Maura was incapable of not looking stunning and she did in a very simple red dress. And when Jane remembered that she didn't have to keep those thoughts to herself anymore she told Maura just that. After putting her hand on Maura's waist and leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek, Jane said softly in her ear, "You look stunning. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

Jane heard the hitch in Maura's breathing and when Jane pulled away, Maura laughed lightly.

"What?" Jane asked.

"That's the first time I've ever understood the expression 'weak in the knees.' Let's go before I lose all interest in leaving the house."

The restaurant was very understated and, Jane noted, very romantic. It was small with intimate candlelit tables. After they ordered, Maura took Jane's hand in her own and said, "Are you going to tell me about your meeting today?"

Jane took a deep breath. "I've been worried about telling you this, but I've been considering this for awhile and this past week help me come to a decision. I turned in my badge and gun today. I don't like what that job made me become the past few months, so I quit."

"I don't understand."

"The past few months, I was a mess. I drank. A lot. I was horrible to my family. I mean a complete jackass. I used those women I slept with just to feel something. And then three days ago, if I hadn't been tied to the chair and I was the one holding the gun, I would have made sure those bastards were dead. Because of what they did to all of those women, and then they way they pushed you around and talked to you. I would have killed them." Jane paused and took a deep breath, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "But I don't want to be that person. I want to be safe and sane for you, for us."

"Are you saying you're leaving your job for me?" Maura asked.

"I've leaving the job for both of us, so I can be the person I want to be for you."

"But Jane you don't have to do that. Your job is everything to you."

"Not anymore. As long as you still want to be with me, I'm going to devote all of my energy to being the best person I can be for you. You don't have to understand my decision, but I know this is something I have to do." Jane took another deep breath and Maura squeezed her hand. "You don't think I'm running away or chickening out or something like, do you?"

"Oh Jane, of course not. You've given so much of yourself to being a cop. You deserve to decide that you've given enough. If this is what you think is best, I support you a hundred percent. What will you do with yourself?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I thought I might talk to my Pop about working with him and then later I could take over the business."

"Are you going to wear a toolbelt and show off your butt crack?"

"Good one." Jane laughed. "Only for the pretty customers."

Back at Maura's house there was a tangible tension in the air. Both women had thought that tonight could be the night they consummated their relationship, but they hadn't spoken about it. After they each took the opportunity to freshen up, Maura took Jane by the hand to the bedroom and they sat on the edge of the bed.

Maura gently ran a hand over Jane's left shoulder. "Are you feeling okay?"

The shoulder was throbbing but there was no way Jane was going to admit that now. "I feel great," she said and captured Maura's lips in a searing kiss and their tongues met in what had become a very familiar slow dance over the past few days.

"Jane, I want to tell you something." Maura said nervously.

"Don't tell me, you're a virgin," Jane joked.

Maura visibly relaxed. "That hasn't been true for a long, long time. I just haven't been with anyone for awhile, since before... everything. So I might be a little out of practice."

"Well, when I, um, in the past, you know, fantasized about being, uh, intimate with you, I always had the use of both arms."

"If it helps, I've been wet since you told me I was beautiful."

Jane felt herself blush. "I don't know if that helped or not but it's the sexiest thing anyone has every said to me." Jane stood up. "Come on, help me get our clothes off."

Soon they were standing naked in front of each other, with the exception of Jane's sling holding her left arm. "I wish I didn't look like this right now," Jane said.

"You look incredibly sexy," Maura replied.

"I feel ridiculous." Jane pulled Maura against her and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Jane guided Maura to a sitting position on the bed. She grabbed a pillow and placed it under Maura's head as Jane eased her down on the bed and crawled on top of her, resting between Maura's legs. Propping herself up on her good arm, Jane licked and kissed every available inch of Maura's skin, taking her time with each of her breasts and each nipple until Maura was squirming beneath her.

"Jane, please, stop teasing."

Jane slid off the end of the bed so she was kneeling on the floor and pulled Maura forward so her ass was the edge of the bed. Jane kissed the insides of Maura's thighs and nipped at one slightly.

"Jaanne," Maura moaned.

Jane ran her tongue through Maura's wetness and it was intoxicating. She made long, slow strokes, flicking her tongue at Maura's clit. Jane thought she might come just from hearing the sounds Maura was making.

"Oh god Jane, oh, oh, oh, fuck." Maura's hands clenched the blanket. The feeling was almost overwhelming and all rational thought left her head. She was only vaguely aware of what she was saying.

Jane focused her attention on Maura's clit and Maura bucked against Jane as she sucked hard. "Oh yes, Jane, right there, right there, yes, yes, yes." Maura's whole body shook as her orgasm hit.

Jane climbed back on top of Maura and said, "That was the sexiest fucking thing I have ever experienced."

Maura took Jane's face in her hands and kissed her. "Can I touch you?"

"Please."

Maura dipped her fingers into Jane's folds. "Oh my, you're so wet."

"Of course I am. You made me this wet."

"Oh Jane, you feel so amazing." Maura was in awe. This felt like nothing she had ever experienced before.

"Maura, I'm already so close. I want you inside me." Maura pushed two fingers inside Jane and Jane rocked against Maura's hand until Maura felt Jane clenching around her. Jane kissed Maura hard and then rolled onto her back. "Sorry, I can't hold myself up anymore."

Maura curled on her side against Jane and walked her fingers across Jane's stomach. "That's okay, this position presents plenty of new opportunities."

Jane glanced at the clock. It read 12:04. "Happy New Year, Maur."

"Happy New Year, Jane."


End file.
